Into the Sunset
by vampyr913
Summary: Set after Breaking Dawn. "I think things are going to be kind of boring now, aren't they?" That hope is shattered as the Cullens' world is turned upsidedown. Will they find their happily ever after, even if it's not what they imagined it would be? PLZ R
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**1. ****Boring Is Good**

~ Edward ~

Bella and I walked into the house with Renesmee. It felt so empty now that our friends had left. I had not been able to think this clearly in weeks. I had known that Bella was keeping something from me and it had been slowly driving me insane. I was grateful that Alice and Jasper left directions for Bella, and I knew why she could not tell me what was going on, but I was slightly irritated that Alice left without telling me anything. My relief that Alice and Jasper found Nahuel overshadowed my irritation and I felt extremely grateful to them.

"Where's Nahuel?" Bella asked Jasper as we entered the living room.

Jasper looked up from his book and turned to face her. "He left early this morning with Huilen to return home. Carlisle and Esme went to the airport with them to see them off."

Bella's face fell. "Oh, I was hoping to talk with him today. I feel bad that I was so uncomfortable around him last night."

We sat down together on the loveseat and Jasper reassured her, as I had last night, that Nahuel had finally begun to forgive himself for his mother's death and was happy when he left.

Bella sighed and leaned her head back to rest on my shoulder. She seemed to be enjoying the quiet as much as I was. After weeks of tension, the relaxed environment in the house was a welcome change. I began running my fingers through Bella's hair and watched while Renesmee seated herself in a large armchair by the wall of windows, looking out into the backyard expectantly. Her thoughts revolved around Jacob, _her_ Jacob. Knowing she felt that way made me like their imprinting even less. I stifled a groan, and of course, Bella did not miss it. She followed the direction of my gaze and her eyes settled on Renesmee.

"What is it?" she asked looking up at me.

"It's nothing. Nes – Renesmee is just wondering where Jacob is," I sighed. I was actually surprised that he was not here already. Perhaps now that we were no longer in danger, he would not be as comfortable hanging around the house as much. That would suit me just fine if it were not for the sad pout on my daughter's face.

"Renesmee, I'm sure he'll be here soon," Bella assured her. "He hasn't had much time to spend with Billy lately and I'm sure he has some catching up to do with the packs."

Renesmee would not be happy until Jacob was here. She missed him. My conflicting feelings about her emotions were not easy to integrate. Part of me was still uneasy with this relationship and I shuddered at the thought of future conversations I would need to have with both of them. I did appreciate that the imprinting helped to explain Jacob's obsession with Bella. Moreover, how could I truly be upset over a connection that, just yesterday, I had relied on so heavily? We needed that bond to be as strong as we imagined it, to be able to trust Jacob with keeping Renesmee safe. Luckily, it had not come to that and our daughter was still here so that I could continue to protect her.

"Edward, you need to get comfortable with the idea of Renesmee and Jacob," Bella whispered to me. "If it hadn't been for Alice we might have needed Jacob to protect her. I was counting on that bond," she echoed my thoughts.

"Where is Alice?" Bella asked suddenly.

Jasper laughed. "She ran out of here earlier this morning, all giddy with excitement. Said she needed to help them get ready. Whatever that means," Jasper shrugged. _I have no idea where she is. Or what she's up to. I am sure we'll all be hearing about it soon._

I smiled at Jasper. I was glad to have him home. I missed him and Alice. I was so relieved when I heard them coming back to us yesterday. Our family felt complete again.

"Thank you for everything you and Alice did to save Renesmee. It means so much to me," Bella smiled at Jasper.

"To both of us," I added. "I really missed you two."

"Awww, Edward, you missed me!" Alice chirped as she danced through the door.

"I was just thinking about how relieved I am that you came back. Don't ruin it for me," I teased.

"I'm happy to be back," Alice grinned. "But if you're not nicer to me, Edward, I might just have to leave again."

Jasper shook his head at Alice's threat. She paused to kiss him when she walked past where he was sitting on the couch. Alice stopped in front of Bella presenting her with a wrapped package, and a look that anticipated Bella's reaction.

"I should have known that you went shopping," Bella groaned.

"Well, it is my fault that you no longer have yours and I thought you might like a replacement," she pushed the package at Bella.

Bella looked confused as she took the package from Alice and began opening it.

"Momma, what is it?" Renesmee asked, climbing onto my lap to get a better view. I was happy that she had pulled herself away from the windows and I helped her up.

"It's a book," she laughed. I did not miss the irony when she showed us _The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare._ It was a rare, leather bound edition, which would make an excellent addition to Bella's small, but growing collection.

"Alice, this is not a replacement. This is an upgrade," Bella scolded.

"I couldn't just buy you a standard paperback," Alice huffed.

"Of course not," she replied mockingly.

Bella got up to give Alice a hug. "I'm just glad to have you home. And really, Alice, it is beautiful. Thank you."

Alice could not deny the sincerity of Bella's last comment. "You're welcome," she replied. Then she headed upstairs laughing with excitement as she recited the elements of the periodic table.

"What is Alice up to?" Bella asked me anxiously.

"I'm not sure. She's blocking her thoughts."

"She had the same emotions when she left here this morning, so it probably has something to do with where she's been all day," Jasper guessed.

"Jasper's probably right. I wouldn't worry about it," I said to Bella as I softly kissed her neck, at the jaw line, and breathed her in. She still had the most intoxicating scent.

Renesmee suddenly placed her hand on my face and smiled as she showed me a picture of Jacob. She jumped off my lap and ran to hug him as he walked into the room. He was thrilled to see her and I had to admit that I was very impressed that his thoughts were about her now, not what would happen in seven years. He scooped her up into a hug and carried her outside.

_Relax, I'm not taking her anywhere, we're just going out back._

I nodded at Jacob slightly. As long as his thoughts did not cross the line, I could remain calm. I pulled Bella closer to me and wrapped my arms around her. I could not be happier. I was married to my soul mate, we had a beautiful daughter that would be perfect and healthy, and I had both of them forever. I heard Bella sigh contently and knew she was feeling the same thing.

_I can't wait to go on another honeymoon – just Emmett and me. After everything that has happened, we need to spend some time alone. Where could we go?_ Rosalie's thoughts announced her and Emmett's return before they appeared at the door.

They sauntered into the living room, hand in hand, and fell onto the couch. Emmett had a silly grin on his face as he thought about their upcoming trip.

"Emmett," I growled at him "please control your thoughts."

Rosalie giggled as she quickly caught on to what Emmett was thinking.

"Should we tell them?" she asked excitedly, smiling at Emmett.

"I know you were not about to make an announcement to the family without me." Alice smirked as she floated down the stairs.

She knew what the announcement would be and had been busy making preparations for them since early this morning. Bella and Jasper looked around at the rest of us trying to figure out what Rosalie and Emmett were talking about.

"Rose and I are thinking of taking a trip," Emmett explained.

"Another honeymoon," Rosalie added. Rosalie was ecstatic that she and Emmett were going to spend time alone together.

"Ugh, no one wants to hear about _that_, Blondie," Jacob muttered jokingly as he walked back inside with Renesmee.

Rosalie ignored him. It was clear that they were never going to really get along, but they were both protective of Renesmee, and that softened the tension between them a bit. Jacob was more comfortable joking with Rosalie than she was with him.

"Where are you planning to go?" Bella asked.

"We're not sure yet" Rosalie answered.

Bella released her shield and looked up at me as she remembered our honeymoon. I leaned down to brush my lips against hers. I found it incredible that I was able to hear her thoughts. From the first time I saw her, I had wished I could know what she was thinking. I remembered the times I had wondered about her thoughts. Wondering if she was really thinking what she said she was. Last night she had surprised me by lowering her shield and allowing me into her mind. I had never felt so connected to her.

"Hey, did you hear about the blond that was going to Disneyland?" Jacob asked. "When she came to a fork in the road, she saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so she went home."

Emmett laughed and Rosalie shot him a look that instantly had him apologizing.

"Things really are going to be boring around here now, aren't they?" Jacob asked as he sat on the living room carpet.

"Boring is good, Jacob" Bella replied, "I've had enough excitement to last me a lifetime."

"So, what are you all doing now?"

"We should go see Charlie," Bella said to me as she walked over to pick up Renesmee.

Renesmee placed her hand on Bella's face and showed her Jacob, asking if he could come too.

Bella laughed, "Of course he can, if he'd like to come."

As if she had to ask. "Where else would I be?" Jacob grinned at Renesmee.

Alice started thinking about her shopping trip from this morning. She had seen that Rosalie and Emmett would be taking a trip to upstate New York. She bought them everything they would need… or could want… for the trip. She could hardly contain her excitement as she waited for them to realize where they were going.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**2. The Escape**

~ Mackenzie ~

"Do you think we've run far enough?" Brandon asked me.

How was I supposed to know? I still couldn't believe that we _had_ run. We must be crazy! No one turns away from the Volturi. Well, not unless you want to die. Yet, when Aro's attention turned to Caius and Marcus to begin their counsel, we did. Ran so fast we were almost flying. I wasn't even sure why we had left.

My fear wouldn't subside. I was scared of the Volturi. I wondered how long it would be before Demetri tracked us. How long before they tore us to pieces. They would come after us, wouldn't they? Maybe they didn't notice us when we left. Of course, they noticed. They noticed everything.

I thought they would have found us by now. We were half way across the country, heading east. Maybe the fight took longer than we thought it would. I'd never seen anyone stand up to the Volturi. I had never seen the Volturi prepare to fight a coven that appeared so _together_. They looked strong, so confident in their abilities. Why else would all those other vampires show up to defend the Cullens?

The Cullens. I was afraid of them too. What if they won? It was a stretch, but it was possible. What if they had figured out a way to destroy the Volturi? They would be coming after us. I'd seen the Volturi fight. Their punishment did not allow for survivors. Occasionally one of the guilty would repent and want to join the Volturi. Aro granted those pardons selectively. I knew he wouldn't pardon Brandon and me. Neither would the Cullens.

So, either way, we weren't going to make it. I just wish I knew how long we had. I was not ready to die. It had only been six short years ago that I first became a vampire. It felt like yesterday and I wasn't ready to let it go yet.

"Mackenzie. Mackenzie? MACKENZIE!"

I startled as I heard Brandon calling me.

I answered his question. "I don't know. How far is far enough? Is there such a place as far enough?" I started to panic.

We had run all day and through the night. The sky had begun to lighten slightly. It wouldn't be long before the sun rose on another day. And no matter how far we got, it didn't make me feel better. What was the point in running if we'd be found and killed eventually? But I couldn't _not_ run and just wait around for them to find us. I couldn't decide what would be worse – being destroyed by the Volturi or the Cullens.

He stopped running and turned to face me. "Everything is going to be fine," he tried to assure me, "and you need to relax."

I knew he was right. But how was I supposed to relax? We had never been in a situation like this before. How was I supposed to calm myself down when I knew that there were vampires coming after us to destroy us? _That_ I didn't know. Freaking out I understood… I was good at that. Relaxing, not so much…

He walked over to me slowly, cupped his hands around my face, and stared into my eyes until I regained focus and looked back into his.

"You need to calm down. You know, breathing into paper bags doesn't work for vampires." He grinned at me.

I smirked at him. He was so cute when he tried getting me out of my head. I could easily get lost in my head, wrapped up in my thoughts. I had always been this way, even as a human. I was surprised that even after I was changed, my brain still worked the same way. Granted, my immortal mind had a lot more room in it and allowed me to focus on many things at once, but I just used that extra room for more thoughts, instead of enjoying the extra space.

He leaned in and kissed me. I loved kissing Brandon. I could spend all day kissing him… and all night. He pulled back and started laughing.

"What is it that you're thinking about now?" he asked me, shaking his head.

I gave him my most innocent look and said, "Nothing."

He started kissing me again and I had to force myself to pull away from him.

"We need to keep moving," I started.

He nodded. "Where are we going?"

It wasn't a rhetorical question. He knew me well enough to know that I had been trying to figure things out. I was the planner. I always had a plan. He would be perfectly content living each day as it came. Even for eternity. I planned everything. Well, I did not plan on running. No, that was Brandon's idea. More of a spur of the moment, ask questions later, idea. I had no choice but to follow him.

But he was right. I had been formulating a plan. Even though I had never been there, I knew enough about the area. The city was heavily populated and the northern region would provide the cover we were so desperately seeking.

"I think we should go to New York," I told him, "somewhere upstate."

He laughed. "I knew you had come up with something," he teased. "What's in New York?"

It was more about what _wasn't_ in New York. "It's on the other side of the country," I said quietly.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. "It really is going to be okay," he whispered in my ear. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I love you," I whispered back.

"Always and forever," he said, looking into my eyes, before he kissed me.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**3. Sherrill**

~ Edward ~

Bella and I were taking Renesmee to see Charlie. Jacob followed us into the garage as we headed to the Volvo. Rosalie was working on her BMW while she and Emmett discussed their upcoming trip.

"We should go to New York," Emmett suggested. "There's a place in New Paltz that I think you'd really like." He had already decided that was where he wanted to go and he was planning to do whatever it took to convince Rosalie.

"Where's New Paltz?" Rosalie asked from underneath the car.

"It's upstate. There's a resort located on Lake Mohonk that's surrounded by thousands of acres of forest," Emmett described.

"That sounds beautiful," Bella mused as she buckled Renesmee into the backseat.

"It's near Bear Mountain! That's got my name written all over it," Emmett chuckled. "What's a trip without some great hunting?"

Emmett thought about the last bear he attacked and was disappointed with how easily he had won. He liked playing with his food much more than he should.

"Em, this is supposed to be another honeymoon," Rosalie scolded.

"Babe, I didn't tell you the best part," he replied. "The resort is a 19th century, seven-story Victorian castle."

That was all it took to convince Rosalie. Only a castle would do for the family princess.

"A castle?" Rosalie asked excitedly as she slid out from under the car. "Really? Emmett, that sounds lovely," she said as she jumped into his arms to kiss him.

We were all in the Volvo and that was our cue to leave. I did not want to see anymore than what I was already seeing and I certainly did not want to hear where Emmett's thoughts were quickly heading. I raced down the long driveway and turned onto the main road.

"It will be nice to see Charlie again," Bella said quietly. "I was so worried at Christmas. I feel badly that I didn't really do anything to help him."

"Love, you did help him." I told her. I took her hand and began playing with her wedding band. "Charlie was just happy that we were there to spend the day with him."

"Bella, he's a lot stronger than you think," Jacob assured her. _Like father, like daughter._

The awe in Jacob's thoughts did not escape my notice. I glanced at him in the rearview mirror but he was staring out the window watching the forest slip silently past us.

We arrived at Charlie's house in a matter of minutes. Jacob jumped out of the car and scooped up Renesmee to take her inside. Charlie came out to greet us and took Renesmee from Jacob.

"Nessie," Charlie cooed. _She's getting so big._

She giggled when he swung her around in his arms.

"Hi Bells. Happy New Year!" Charlie called out, heading towards Bella.

"Hi Dad, it's nice to see you," Bella said as she gave Charlie a careful hug. "Happy New Year," she replied. It sounded like a question.

"Hello Edward. Jacob," Charlie nodded at us over Bella's shoulder.

"Hey Charlie," Jacob replied.

"Hello sir," I greeted him.

We were so excited about the resolution of the gathering in the clearing and relieved that Renesmee would have a healthy future, we had not considered the date. It _was_ New Year's Day. Charlie was not one to get emotional, so I thought it strange that his thoughts had an air of excitement to them.

"Let's go inside," Charlie suggested. He had Renesmee in his right arm and kept his left arm around Bella's waist as he led them into the house. _My girls._

I could not agree more. They were my life. Jacob and I followed them in. I shut the door while they settled into the small kitchen. Now that I had spent time with Bella's mother, the yellow painted cabinets made perfect sense. The football game was on in the living room. Charlie sat down and fidgeted nervously in his chair.

"Did you do anything fun last night? Did Alice go overboard again?" Charlie laughed.

The relationship between Alice and Charlie made me smile. She had won him over so easily. Her charm could not be denied.

"Last night was pretty quiet, actually. We all hung out at the house, grateful to be able to celebrate together," Bella cautiously explained.

I missed the wave of red that used to color her beautiful face when she evaded the truth. Bella was not a good liar, but without her blush to give her away, she was easier to believe. What else could she tell him? That while the rest of the world rang in the new year, we had spent the night together wrapped in each other's arms, rejoicing our victory, celebrating that we had everything we'd always wanted – each other forever.

"How about you, Charlie, how was your night?" Jacob asked trying to hide a grin.

Charlie shot him a look. "It was very nice, thank you."

"Did you hang out with Billy?" Bella asked him.

"Something like that," Charlie muttered.

Charlie did not know that we could all hear him. Bella raised her eyebrows.

_What is he talking about?_

I shrugged my shoulders slightly in response to her thoughts. I was still amazed that I could hear her thoughts. I had been hearing people think for nearly a century, and it was only now, when I could hear the most important thoughts, her thoughts, that I truly appreciated my gift.

"Bella, I have something to tell you," Charlie started.

"Ch – Dad, is everything all right?" Bella's question was laced with worry.

"Of course," he replied. "Everything is fine."

"What's going on, Charlie?" I prompted him.

"Right," he steadied himself. "So, I have some news. Last night, well I guess it was early this morning, technically it was at midnight..." he swallowed. "I thought it was a good time, the right moment, you know?"

No one said anything. We were all looking at him and each other trying to figure out what he was talking about.

"Anyway," he continued nervously, "Sue and I have been spending a lot of time together, and we're getting on really well, so I asked her to marry me," he finished apprehensively, looking up at Bella.

"Are you trying to tell us that you're engaged?" Bella teased.

I wished she had been as comfortable with the concept, or the word, when I had proposed to her.

"Well, I guess I am," Charlie said.

"That's fantastic, dad! I'm so happy for you… and Sue." Bella gushed.

"Renesmee," Bella turned to her excitedly, "Grandpa Charlie is getting married!"

Renesmee slowly slid off her chair. _Now, Daddy?_

I smiled encouragingly at my daughter and glanced up, then down, to confirm her thoughts.

Renesmee reached up to give Charlie a hug. "Congratulations Grandpa," she said smiling at him after he had pulled her up into his arms.

Charlie's eyes were wide with surprise. Bella watched him cautiously as we listened to his heart race, and then slowly return to normal. We anticipated this reaction. Bella and I spent some time talking last night, and we had decided that it was time for Renesmee to begin speaking in front of Charlie. We could not hide it any longer. She already looked like a three year old and the public story would be harder to explain if she was not talking.

"I told you she was special," Jacob tried to calm him.

"Need to know… need to know," Charlie muttered to himself.

"Congratulations on the wedding, Charlie," Jacob smirked, heading towards him.

_Finally!_ Jacob relaxed._ I found out about the wedding this morning but didn't want to ruin the surprise. I was sure the psychic would've told you already._ Jacob's thoughts rushed out all at once now that the barrier was down.

Since Jacob had phased in front of him, Charlie was more uncomfortable around Jacob than he was with me. He flinched when Jacob tried to touch him and held on tight to Renesmee when Jacob tried taking her from him. If Charlie had any doubts before, I would bet that now he was thrilled that Bella had picked me. I imagined Charlie's reaction to Jacob presenting him with a puppy, congratulating him on being a grandfather. I stifled a laugh.

"I wish you and Sue my best. Have you picked a date?" I asked.

"Thank you, Edward. We don't have an exact date yet, but Sue wants a May wedding, so I guess it'll be sometime in May," Charlie shrugged.

Charlie's nerves had calmed once he realized that Bella was happy about the upcoming wedding. They had not decided on any other details. I was not surprised that Sue would be handling the wedding plans. The conversation continued around me as I thought about the news. How would this affect our treaty with the Quileutes? Why had Jacob kept it from me? I could understand that he did not want to ruin the surprise for Bella, but I did not see how that applied to me.

I was half-listening to the conversation and half-absorbed in what this new development would mean for my family. Even though I was responding every so often, Bella quickly realized that I was distracted. At times, she looked at me intently, as if she were trying to read my thoughts. As perceptive as she was when she was human, she really did not miss anything now. It was strange and yet comforting to know that she knew me so well. I remembered at the beginning, fearing that she would run if she really knew me. And after her incident in Port Angeles, deciding that I wanted to be honest with her about what I was because I wanted her to really know me. It seemed she always had. It was I that was often left wondering about her. She still fascinated me.

Charlie did not ask any questions about Renesmee. It seemed that he really did not want to know any details. I was surprised at how well he was taking all of this. Most humans would not have been able to ignore their curiosity. Charlie was doing everything he could do to keep Bella and Renesmee in his life. Jacob helped Bella by keeping the conversation centered on last night's party.

We had been catching up for almost two hours when my phone buzzed in my pocket. The caller ID announced Alice.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi Edward. Carlisle called and said he would like all of us home tonight for a family meeting," Alice explained.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she was annoyed. "I haven't been able to see anything. He said to tell Jacob that he should be there too."

Jacob at a family meeting? This did not sound good. "Okay, we'll be home soon," I told her.

"Tell Charlie congratulations for me!" she shrieked.

"Goodbye Alice," I groaned and hung up the phone.

So _that_ was what Alice had been so excited about all morning. I should have known that shopping for Rosalie and Emmett would not get her so worked up. I had thought it was because she was making up for lost time after being gone for so many weeks. But there was only one thing that Alice liked more than shopping, and that was planning a party. I felt bad for Charlie and Sue thinking of the torture I imagined Alice could inflict on them.

"Alice?" Bella asked.

"Yes, she called to make sure we'd be coming home for dinner. And she said to tell you hello, Charlie." I could not pass along her congratulations. How was I supposed to explain that she knew about the wedding when he had just told us himself?

"Dinner?" Jacob scoffed.

Bella glared at him. I pretended not to notice.

"Yes, Jacob. Actually, Esme asked that we specifically invite you as well," I said evenly.

"Maybe it's a blind date," Bella teased.

"We should start heading back," I suggested. I was not sure what was wrong, but I was anxious to get Bella and Renesmee back to the house, where they would be safer.

"Don't be late for dinner on my account," Charlie said as he rose with Renesmee. "Please pass along my best wishes for the New Year to your parents, Edward."

"I will, Charlie, thank you," I replied.

"See you later Charlie," Jacob called as he headed out the door.

I took Renesmee from Charlie and waited for Bella as she gave him a hug goodbye. He walked us out and kissed the top of Renesmee's head.

"Bye Nessie," he whispered tentatively.

"Bye Grandpa. See you soon," she giggled.

She enjoyed being able to talk with him. She wrapped her hands around my neck as I carried her to the car. She discreetly showed me Charlie's surprised face when he had heard her talk; she found it humorous but was concerned.

"He will be ok," I whispered softly to her as I placed her in the backseat.

"Bye Dad," Bella waved from the car.

As we headed back to the house, I relayed Alice's message to Bella and Jacob.

"Why do I need to be there?" Jacob wondered.

"I don't know. Alice has not been able to see anything. But if Carlisle requested that you join us, there has to be a good reason."

"Just when things have calmed down," Bella complained. We were both still surprised at the turn of events yesterday. We both knew that there was a chance that Aro would try something again, but I did not want her to worry.

"Love, we don't know that it's anything to get nervous about." I brushed her hair back from her face.

She leaned her face into my hand and took a deep breath. I missed these quiet moments between us. I wrapped my arm around her and leaned her into me. I kissed the top of her head. She looked up at me with her now amber eyes.

"I love you," I breathed, moving my lips against hers.

"As I love you," she replied with a kiss.

_Don't you think you should keep your eyes on the road? You're scarring Nessie for life. No one wants to see their parents doing that._

I rolled my eyes and ignored Jacob.

Alice was waiting for us on the front steps when we arrived at the house. Bella had barely gotten out of the car before Alice ambushed her.

"Please, please, please, tell me I can do their wedding," she pleaded anxiously.

"Alice, it's not my wedding," Bella reminded her. "I don't get to decide who does the wedding. I don't have to decide anything."

"You can help me convince Charlie and Sue," Alice shamelessly continued.

"Alice, you and I both know that your power of persuasion over Charlie is undeniable," Bella rolled her eyes. "You don't need me."

"Can't you see what they'll say when you ask them?" Jacob asked.

"No," Alice groaned. "Leah and Seth are in the way."

"I'm not sure Sue will be comfortable with you planning her wedding," I cautioned Alice.

"But I would make it such a beautiful wedding…" she trailed off as we headed inside. _Stupid werewolves... damn treaty. _

She had understood exactly what I was saying to her. Sometimes it was too easy to talk to Alice.

Emmett and Jasper were watching football in the living room. I could hear Rosalie upstairs packing and Esme sketching in her room.

Alice slumped into the desk chair to do some online shopping. _There has to be a way._ She was not giving up.

Jacob joined Emmett and Jasper while Bella took Renesmee into the kitchen for some food. Last night, Bella and I had also discussed that Renesmee needed to become more comfortable with eating human food. Renesmee did not particularly like it, but we felt it was important to help her become more accustomed to it.

"Where is Carlisle?" I wondered.

"He's not back from the hospital yet," Esme told me as she descended the stairs to join us. "He should be home soon." She nestled herself into one of the armchairs and continued drawing.

"Emmett, have you and Rosalie decided when you're leaving for your trip?" Bella asked.

"We're leaving in a week. I booked the Mountain View Tower Suite," Emmett told us. "They have some secluded cottages, but they're not renting them out now."

"Our room has its own balcony and working fireplace," Rosalie gushed from the top of the stairs. "It's so beautiful."

"You do realize that you can't break the room," Jasper jokingly shoved Emmett as he sensed Emmett's changing mood.

Emmett had a one-track mind… well, two. And it was never difficult to figure out where he was going.

I settled into the piano seat and softly began to play Esme's favorite song. She smiled up at me from her design pad. I was glad that I could do something for Esme that would make her smile. I watched Renesmee sitting on the couch with Jacob and hoped that one day she would admire me the way I admired Esme and Carlisle.

I finished Esme's song and began playing the notes that came to me as I watched Renesmee. The music started quickly, in low dark notes that escalated into a joyous melody. It was an upbeat piece, and the composition became more complicated as the song grew. I could not bring myself to end it. I could imagine no end that would be worthy of the inspiration before me. I continued to play softly. Moments later, Bella joined me at the piano.

_For Renesmee?_

I nodded.

_It's beautiful._

"You're beautiful," I whispered to her when I leaned into her to kiss her neck. I ran my lips along her jaw breathing her in. My fingers found the familiar pattern of her lullaby and the soft notes filled the room. The music had brought me to life; inspired by the woman who became my life. Bella turned to find my lips with hers and I kissed her softly at first, and then more passionately as her lips parted to receive mine.

"Get a room," Emmett groaned.

"Bite me," I muttered.

Emmett did not understand what it was like to find the love of your life, your soul mate, especially when you did not even realize that you had given up finding her. It was an amazing feeling to discover that you could not live without someone you did not even know you were missing. And indescribable to know she felt the same way about you.

Emmett and Rosalie had a more physically based relationship. Although they loved each other, it just was not the same. They were not as emotionally connected. Rosalie was usually too focused on herself to really invest in anyone else. Given the opportunity, she would give up her existence without hesitation – and that included Emmett. Emmett did everything he could to make Rosalie happy, even though he knew he could not give her what she wanted most. Emmett was so carefree it was hard to know if he was truly happy. It seemed like a conversation that would be too philosophical for him to want to have.

"Is everyone here?" Carlisle asked, interrupting my reverie.

"Yes," Esme replied. "Should we get started?"

"That's probably best." Carlisle headed into the dining room with Esme.

"I'd like to set Renesmee down for a nap first, if that's okay?" Bella asked as she rose from the piano bench.

"Of course," Esme assured her. "You can use Edward's room."

After we had tucked Renesmee in, we joined the family in the dining room. Carlisle and Esme had taken their seats at the far end of the table, holding hands. Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett sat along the left side of the table, near Esme. I took the first empty seat on the right side of the table, near Carlisle, and Bella sat next to me. Jacob was sitting a seat down from Bella, across from Emmett.

_I'd really like to know what I'm doing here. Isn't this a family meeting? Hello!? I'm not a bloodsucker… _Jacob, of course.

"I wanted us all to meet so I could share some information that I received earlier this morning and to discuss our options," Carlisle began. "I have asked that Jacob join us, as this conversation will impact him as well."

Jacob grimaced. _This can't be good._

No one said anything so Carlisle continued. "When Esme and I drove Huilen and Nahuel to the airport this morning, I was able to question them further about Nahuel's development during his first seven years. I wanted to obtain a point of reference for Renesmee. They shared with me that he grew rapidly during his first year. By the end of his first year, he appeared to be five years old."

_Five? She already looks like she's three. She's going to age another two years in the next eight months?_ Jacob was starting to worry.

Carlisle continued calmly. "In his second year, he didn't age as quickly, but there was still a relatively large jump in his development. When he was two years old, he resembled an eight year old child."

_I thought they said she was going to be fine. Seven years and she'd be fully grown. At this rate… no, it can't be. Did they just make that up to get rid of the Volturi leeches? Is that what this is about?_ Jacob's mind was racing.

"His growth slowed dramatically after that," Carlisle added. "During the following four years, he only aged a year or two each year. At age six, Nahuel said he looked fifteen. His last growth spurt happened during his seventh year, and that brought him to how he looks today, about eighteen."

_So if the story is true and Nessie is going to be okay, what's with the meeting?_ Jacob was confused again.

"But we already knew that she wouldn't continue to grow past her seventh year," Rosalie stated, encouraging Carlisle to go on.

"That is correct, but now that I have a better idea of what her development might look like each year, we can be better prepared. We know what we can expect. Based on the information that I was able to gather today, I suggest that we discuss when to leave Forks."

Bella looked at me anxiously. She was not expecting this so quickly. I did not exactly see this coming either. Carlisle was being very careful with his thoughts right now. All I could get from him was that he really wanted this to be a family decision.

I ran my fingers up and down her back, along her spine. "It'll be all right, love," I tried to assure her.

Jasper helped to calm her. I thanked him silently and took Bella's hand in mine. I began rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb.

I looked up at everyone sitting at the table and they were all looking at Carlisle. This was going to be most difficult for Bella. The rest of us had all been through this before. We knew this day would come eventually. We just had not expected it to come today. Now that I understood the reason for the meeting, I was not surprised that Carlisle had requested that Jacob join us. He knew Jacob would be as affected by this decision as much as any of us… as much as Renesmee. Jacob was part of the family now, too.

_This is why I'm here?_ There was no relief in Jacob's thoughts.

"I would like to present an option," Carlisle requested. _Should I continue?_

I nodded. Carlisle often relied on my ability to gauge a situation based on everyone's thoughts. While no one was looking forward to starting over again, I was not hearing any hesitation, apart from for Jacob and he needed to hear more.

"We have been in Forks for four years. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper are supposed to be in their second year of college. Alice, Edward, and Bella were to have gone off to college this past September. Esme and I are not getting any older. Now that we know how quickly Renesmee will be growing this year, we need to leave to protect ourselves.

"But you _can't_ leave," Jacob protested.

"Isn't there enough to figure out without having to worry about the dog?" Rosalie grumbled.

"Jacob is as much a part of this decision as we are, as Renesmee is, and we will all respect his input as such," Carlisle warned.

I felt a sense of pride as I realized how similar my thoughts were to Carlisle's. I remembered Jacob's thoughts about Bella from earlier '_like father, like daughter'_ and I wondered if anyone would ever consider Carlisle and I similar enough to make such a comparison. It would be one of my proudest moments.

"Jacob, I understand this may be difficult for you, but I assure you that this will be a family decision, one that you _will_ be included in," he stressed glancing at Rosalie. "My suggestion does not exclude you," Carlisle explained. "Will you allow me to continue?"

"Sure, sure," Jacob muttered.

"I suggest that we plan our move this summer so that we can be newly settled by September," Carlisle told us. "Renesmee will appear to be about five years old at that time. We could say that she's seven, and very small for her age."

Emmett chuckled to himself at the irony of Carlisle's suggestion.

Carlisle ignored him. "After a year, we'd be saying that she's eight years old, and she would actually appear to be that age. She would age at a normal rate the following year, so she would be nine and appear nine. If all goes well, we could probably make it another two or three years, until she is eleven or twelve, without having to move. She would look a year or two older, but it is an easy age group to adjust. We would probably need to move again after that. At least this would give her a stable home for the next four to five years. That's the most we've been able to expect to live somewhere, anyway."

He paused, looking at all of us, stopping at Bella and me.

"What do you think of the public story?" he asked us.

"I think we'd be lucky to not have to move Renesmee around much," Bella answered. "I'm willing to do what's best for Renesmee. It's good that we'll be able to make this as easy for her as possible."

"A more stable environment will definitely make things easier for her. She's going to have a lot to adjust to in a short period of time," I agreed.

"We'll need to home school Renesmee. After her seventh year, when she's ready, she could attend and graduate from high school," Carlisle added.

"We could all help with that," Alice volunteered excitedly.

"Shopping and party planning aren't exactly on the curriculum," Bella teased.

Everyone laughed and Alice stuck her tongue out at Bella.

"Those are very important skills for a young lady to have," Alice shot back, pretending to be insulted.

The mood in the room had lightened considerably from the time we all had sat down to talk.

_Glad everyone is having so much fun. I still don't see where I fit into any of this._ Well, apart from Jacob's mood. He was not laughing.

"I'm happy to see that this is going so well," Esme was relieved. _I want nothing more than for my family to remain together._

"As am I," Carlisle concurred. "I have done some research and have a location in mind for you to consider. You will each also need to decide on what your public story will be."

"You mean we aren't going back to high school?" Jasper could not hide his excitement at the prospect of not having to return to school.

"Not if you don't want to," Carlisle responded.

"We are a family, and we would very much like if we all remained together," Carlisle continued, glancing at Esme. "We recognize that we're in a very different situation now than we have ever been in before, so it made sense for us to remain open to other options that we might not have considered in the past."

"So, where are you going?" Jacob asked somberly.

"As I said, Jacob, I did keep you in mind," Carlisle reassured him. "Sherrill is a small city in upstate New York whose number of sunny days is well below the US average. Actually, it is the smallest city in New York and it borders the Oneida Creek, which flows past the city and empties into Oneida Lake. The creek and lake are named for the Oneida tribe of the Iroquois who live in the area, on the Onondaga reservation."

He paused, to let this new information register.

"I would like for all of you to consider this idea," Carlisle proposed. "Would you like to move to Sherrill? Please take some time to think about this decision. Jacob, I assume you'll have much to discuss with your pack."

Jacob was too stunned to respond. This was a first. He always had something to say.

"I welcome questions and suggestions from all of you," Carlisle encouraged.

"We won't need to move until the summer, right?" Bella confirmed.

"Not unless you'd like to," Carlisle agreed.

"Charlie announced today that he asked Sue to marry him last night at midnight, and they're planning a May wedding," I elaborated.

"What wonderful news," Esme exclaimed. "How exciting for them!"

"Please pass along our congratulations to them," Carlisle requested.

"Of course," Bella replied. "At least he won't be alone when we leave him," she murmured.

All those times that Bella had said she was ready to leave her human life behind, ready to leave Charlie behind, flooded my mind. No matter how ready she thought she was, it was going to hurt her tremendously to have to say goodbye to him. I raised her hand, still entwined with mine, to my lips and kissed it reassuringly.

"When will you be looking to make a decision?" Jacob asked Carlisle.

"We have some time before we need to make any preparations. I ask all of you to let Esme and I know when you're ready to further discuss this, and then we can come to a decision together at that time."

Jacob nodded slowly. He was beginning to understand.

_WOW! I can't believe that he is including me in this. I never expected to be considered. I just figured they'd take off one day. I couldn't survive away from Nessie. I'll go wherever they want. He even found a place with a reservation nearby. That could be interesting. I need to talk to my dad to find out what he knows. What am I going to do about the pack? I should probably go talk to them._

"I'm going to go talk to my dad and I need to discuss this with the pack," Jacob said as he stood up.

"Thank you for coming Jacob, and for listening," Carlisle affirmed.

"Thank you for inviting me," Jacob was still astonished. "I'll see you all later."

Jacob left out the back door and I heard him phase as he ran into the forest.

_I wonder what we'll do now that we won't have to be in school all the time._

_I can't wait to go shopping in the city!_

_We should check it out while we're on our trip._

_Will we all still be living together?_

_What public story should I pick? How old do I want to be?_

_I think that went very well._

_So many possibilities! This is so exciting._

_I'm glad we won't have to move around a lot and that it works out for Nessie too._

I could not think clearly and everyone's thoughts were too loud to ignore. I needed some quiet time with Bella. We had a lot to figure out.

"Bella, love, would you like to go home?" I asked.

She nodded. "Let's get Renesmee," she said standing up. _We have so much to talk about._

"She's already tucked in and sleeping. Why don't you let her stay here?" Esme suggested.

Bella hesitated.

"It's really no problem," Esme insisted. "You two could use some time together, I'm sure, and I would love to spend some more time with her."

"Thank you Esme."

Bella gave her a hug and we walked out the back door, across the river, to our cottage in the forest.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**4. The Stranger**

~ Mackenzie ~

Brandon and I took off running again. If we kept up our current pace, we would make it to New York by tonight. I felt more determined now that we had a concrete destination in mind. I started thinking about what we would do once we got there. I knew the city would offer us plenty of options for hunting. I was more concerned with where we would be staying. It was hard to plan specifics when I didn't know exactly what we were headed towards. My mind raced as images of the Volturi, the Cullens, and those giant wolves filled my head.

The uncertainty was killing me. It's impossible to defend yourself when you don't know what's coming after you. We needed to figure out what happened back there. How? How could we do that without exposing our location or ourselves? We had to wait for word to travel. It would. There were many times that Brandon and I, as witnesses, had been sent out to spread the news that the Volturi had destroyed a vampire or a coven for some grievance they had committed. The Volturi ruled by fear, and sharing these stories helped to spread that fear.

I was afraid. Because I knew that once word had spread far enough for us to hear it, the Volturi would be close behind, and then they would destroy us. There was only one reason I could come up with why we wouldn't hear anything – if the Volturi didn't win. If the Cullens figured out a way to destroy them, I didn't think we'd be hearing about it. Their witnesses didn't much look like they were there to witness. They looked like they were there to fight. If we encountered any of them, I didn't expect an update on the vampire top stories of the day.

Running generally helped me to put my thoughts into perspective. I was trying _really_ hard to suppress the anger I had building in me toward Brandon. I knew that getting angry with him would not help the situation. How could he have done this? Why would he take off running like that? Didn't he think about what would happen? Of course he didn't. He doesn't think. He just does. Damn the consequences. Because apparently, it would all just work itself out. He must have some psychic ability he's never mentioned to me before. I didn't see how any of this was going to be fine.

"How could you have done this?" I yelled at him. "Do you realize the danger that you've put us in? Did you even think about that before you decided to take off running?"

"I don't know. I just left. I can't explain why, Mackenzie, I just did."

"Seriously? That's your answer?" It's as if he was trying to make me angrier.

"What do you want me to say?" he threw at me. "I'm sorry."

"Right, because _sorry_ is just going to make all of this that much better." I was losing my temper.

"Yelling at me isn't going to make all of this that much better, either," he yelled back at me.

"No, but it's making ME feel better. I am so sick and tired of having to fix all your thoughtless mistakes. I just wish that for once you would consider the consequences of your actions before you decided to do something. How can you be so careless?" I screamed at him. I knew I had crossed the line, but I was too angry to care.

"We can't all be like you, Ms. I Plan Everything Out and Never Make Mistakes," he growled. "Oh, oh, that's right, you're _not_ perfect!"

"At least I don't put you in situations that will end up getting you killed!" I growled back. "This is entirely your fault!"

"No one told you to follow me," he said sarcastically. He stopped running.

I flew right past him. I knew I needed to apologize but I was so angry that there was no way I could do that yet. So I kept running. I needed to calm down. We didn't have time for this now. Why hadn't he started running again? I hated when we did this!

I stopped running and turned back in his direction. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I knew he could hear me.

My fear was starting to take over again. "We need to keep moving," I pleaded with him.

He didn't say anything to me but he started running again. When he caught up to me, I ran with him. He was right; no one had told me to follow him. What did he think I would do? It's not as if I could have stayed there and watched him leave. I loved him. I had for the past five years. We met when I was brought in to the Volturi, and we'd been together ever since.

I had been in relationships before, as a human, and though I didn't remember much about them, I knew that falling in love was more immediate as a vampire. I wasn't sure if the feeling had the same depth. Was it possible to have the same human feelings now that I was immortal? Was it possible to find a soul mate when you didn't have a soul? I didn't understand so many things about my new life. I liked what I was, I knew that, but I didn't buy into the concept of us that the Volturi had tried selling me on. I didn't agree with their view of us as gods. I wasn't sure exactly how I fit into the world now, but I knew I wasn't _that_.

We ran in silence for the next few hours. I hated not knowing where I was. Or what day it was. That's when I realized it was New Year's Day. One of the many perks of the vampire mind – you know things even when you don't realize that you do. I didn't want to start the New Year off like this. I hated when we weren't speaking. I couldn't stand anyone being angry with me, but especially not Brandon. I didn't like to argue. I didn't like to fight. I glanced over at him and even though we were running so fast that everything should've been blurring past me, I could see him clearly, and he was still upset.

I reached for his hand and slowed down. When I realized he was slowing down too, I stopped running so we could talk. I kept his hand in mine.

"Brandon, I really am sorry," I apologized.

"I don't what to say," he answered hesitantly.

"I shouldn't have said what I did. I know that you would never do anything to purposefully put me in danger. I'm just really freaked out and I over-reacted," I explained.

He was still holding my right hand, so I turned toward him and put my left hand on his chest, over his heart. I really wished he would talk to me. I wanted this to end. To me, this was worse than the arguing.

"And I didn't need anyone to tell me to follow you. You know that I will always stand with you," I continued.

"I know," he softened. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean that."

"Do you know what day it is? I only just realized it a few minutes ago."

He nodded, "It's New Year's Day."

"What a way to start off the New Year," I exhaled loudly.

He leaned forward until his forehead was pressed up against mine. "At least we're together," he said softly.

"That's true." I couldn't help but wonder for how long.

"Happy New Year," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I hope so," I replied.

He grimaced, so I added, "Happy New Year," and brushed my lips against his.

The wind picked up and I noticed the sun was almost setting. We had to be close.

"C'mon, we're almost there," I said excitedly.

Brandon turned back in the direction we were heading and froze. His body tensed up before he stepped in front of me, half-crouched, his arms extended slightly. I froze when I detected the scent that the wind carried. I didn't recognize who it was, but I knew what it was. A vampire. This is it. I knew it was coming. I didn't expect it so soon and yet I was surprised it had taken this long. I felt Brandon shove me with his elbow. Right, I needed to get out of my head!

He was looking around trying to figure out where the scent was coming from. I couldn't figure it out either. The scent was strong enough that it made me think the vampire had passed near here recently, and that worried me, but not strong enough to make me think he or she was here now. I raised my eyebrow at Brandon to ask him if he had figured anything out. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. If there was no immediate threat, we needed to keep moving. I nodded east and grabbed his hand.

We ran in silence until I felt Brandon staring at me.

"I smell water," he whispered. "We should travel in it for a while to help confuse our scent."

There was no sound of water flowing. "Listen," I suggested. I continued after a minute, "There's no water flowing. You smell ice. It's the middle of winter."

Before he had a chance to respond, we heard a rustling of branches above us as she dropped to the ground fifty feet in front of us. We had found our mystery vampire. Actually, she found us. She was poised to attack and we immediately mirrored her.

"You're in my territory," she snarled at us.

Brandon growled at her.

"Stop it!" I hissed at him.

This wasn't what I was expecting. She wasn't from the Volturi and she wasn't in that clearing with the Cullens. I had never seen her before. She was slightly over five feet, with long black hair, and small features. This didn't need to turn into a fight.

"We are just passing through. We have no intentions of hunting or staying in this area," I relaxed my position slightly as I tried to reason with her.

"Where are you going?" she asked suspiciously.

I didn't want to tell her that. If she ran into the ones that did want to destroy us, it wouldn't help us if she was able to tell them where we were.

"We're not sure exactly yet, but we're heading to the east coast," I told her.

"Somewhere in New York," Brandon added.

I glared at him. When was he ever going to learn to think?

She relaxed when she realized we weren't a threat and walked towards us. "I prefer Philly, but New York is nice too."

We must be closer to our destination than I realized. We needed to pay more attention now. Move closer to civilization. Look for some signs.

"I'm Angelique," she introduced herself, stopping five feet from us.

"Brandon," he replied. "And this is Mackenzie."

In the span of minutes, Brandon had told her two specific pieces of information that I did not want to share with her… who we are and where we were going. It's as if he had no sense of self-preservation.

"Where are you coming from?" Angelique asked.

"Nowhere specific," I started before Brandon could say anything else. "We've been living in lots of different places for short amounts of time. Nomads, I guess you could call us. We were thinking we wanted to stay put in one place for a while, and thought New York might be worth a try."

"I'm sure you'll like it. The city offers many dining options," she laughed at her own joke.

"I love Italian," Brandon joked with her, grinning at me to see if I understood his double meaning.

I rolled my eyes at him and half smiled. He was so silly sometimes. Like a big kid. You'd never know that he was twenty-one when he was changed. He acted like he was in junior high.

"So, have you heard the news?" Angelique interrupted my thoughts.

"News?" I asked her cautiously.

"Yes!" she gushed. "Apparently, there is a coven somewhere out west that created an immortal child. The Volturi went there to punish them, but there were too many other vampires protecting the coven, so the Volturi didn't do anything and just left."

Left? They left? That's impossible! The Volturi doesn't leave. They're not afraid of anything. Someone had to have won that battle.

"What do you mean left?" I asked her, trying hard not to sound interested.

"I heard that there wasn't an immortal child, after all. She went to the Volturi and made up the story. She wanted revenge on this coven because they killed her mate."

"She?" Brandon asked.

"I don't know who she is… some vampire. Doesn't matter anyway - when the Volturi found out that the story wasn't true, they killed her," she explained.

"Wow." I didn't know what else to say and I had the feeling that it wouldn't take much for Angelique to continue.

"I know," she agreed. "So the rumor is that the Volturi wanted to destroy the coven anyway, but couldn't because the coven had too many powers. So the Volturi had to leave."

They had looked powerful. They were more powerful than the Volturi? Was that even possible? I didn't know anymore.

"So they just left," I breathed.

"Sounds crazy," Brandon agreed.

"You hadn't heard?" Angelique asked.

"No. We've been moving around so often we haven't run into any of our kind in a while," I tried to sound convincing.

"Speaking of moving, we should be going if we're going to get to New York tonight," Brandon said as he took my hand.

"Sorry for passing through like this. We didn't mean to alarm you," I added.

"No problem," Angelique replied. "If you're looking for the city, you'll need to head south once you reach New York."

"Thanks," Brandon and I both said as we started our journey again.

Brandon and I needed to discuss the information that Angelique had shared with us. But it had to wait. We needed to finish this trip. I pushed myself to run even faster. Brandon caught on to my excitement and it wasn't long before we saw the city lights in the distance.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**5. Choices**

~ Edward ~

A few days had passed since Carlisle suggested the move to Sherrill. No one was prepared to continue the discussion yet. Although we were accustomed to relocating frequently, this move was different. We had been Carlisle and Esme's adopted children for so long, it was strange to think of ourselves as anything else. However, Carlisle was right; this was a new situation for all of us and it required that we handle it differently.

Bella was shopping with Alice. She had not resisted Alice's request this morning. I assumed it was because she wanted to talk to Alice to find out what she and Jasper were planning. As much as Carlisle wanted us to determine our public stories on our own, we were much too connected to not include each other. I could not imagine moving somewhere without them and I knew that Bella and Alice would not stand to be separated. The shopping trip provided a perfect opportunity for them to talk.

I was sitting in my room at the house, staring at my books, pondering my decision of what I wanted to do in Sherrill. I thought about the brief time when I had assisted Carlisle with his medical practice. The option intrigued me although I was not sure it was an actual possibility.

_Edward._

I turned at the sound of my name. It was as if Jacob was standing next to me and had called me, but Jacob was not in the house.

_Edward, I'm meeting the pack in that small clearing near your house. I know you've heard us out here before, so if you're listening, pay attention, so I don't have to repeat myself to you later. It's about time I start using that talent of yours for my benefit._

I heard him laugh to himself. Jacob did not appreciate my gift; it was odd that he was using it now, even if it was for his benefit. I had to admit, I _was_ curious. Jacob had talked to his pack about the impending move to Sherrill the night of the family meeting. He was impressed enough with Carlisle's approach of presenting the information to us, that he had chosen to tell the others in a similar fashion. I had not given any attention to Jacob's perception of Carlisle, but now that I looked back over the last few months, I was surprised to realize that Jacob respected Carlisle. At times, Jacob had even regarded Carlisle as almost human.

I let my mind return to that painful time. It was no surprise that I had not noticed Jacob's reactions. My whole existence had been focused on Bella. I had cursed myself for the pain that I caused her. I had drowned in my own torment, allowing myself to feel it completely, knowing that I deserved every bit and more, of the anguish I felt, and that it would never compare to the pain Bella was enduring. I would have given anything to be able to comfort her. It had nearly destroyed me that I could not do anything to help her; that she would not allow it. Bella's strength was astounding.

She never ceased to surprise me. Despite all the pain that I had caused her, it awed me that she still loved me. I would never deserve her.

"I know that this is going to be hard, but it's something we need to talk about," Jacob's voice brought me back to the present.

"When I talked to you about Carlisle's conversation, I told you that I'm going with them. I don't know how to survive without Nessie and they're being really great about including me," Jacob continued. _Except for Blondie, but I'm not going to let her ruin this for me._

"I already said that I'm going with you," Seth interrupted.

"I won't make any decisions for you, kid; even if I think it's crazy that you want to go," Jacob answered Seth.

"I do want to go. I like your pack, Jake, and I like the Cullens. I think it'll be fun!" _Please don't make me stay here._

Seth's enthusiasm reinforced that Jacob would need to force him to stay if he did not want him to go to Sherrill. Seth knew how much Jacob resented Sam's attempt to force him to act against his will. Seth knew how strongly Jacob was opposed to using his position as Alpha to force someone to do something. He was counting on that now.

I wondered why Jacob decided to have this conversation with the pack in human form. He could not hear their thoughts. Would he not want to? Was _that_ why he wanted to have this conversation where I could hear them?

"I won't decide for any of you. I want you to do what you want to do. I don't want you to feel like you have to go or like you should go. Don't make any decisions because of me. Make this decision based on what's best for you," Jacob advised.

"Jake, I can't go," Quil said apologetically. "I can't leave Claire."

"I know, Quil. I know _exactly_ how you feel. You don't need to feel bad about it."

"I'm going to have to stay too," Embry added quietly.

_It's good that they're staying. I don't want to mess things up for them. They have no reason to go, and every reason to stay. They should stay. They need to stay._

Jacob had never wanted to lead his own pack. He had originally declined his rightful position as the Alpha. When he left Sam and the pack because of Sam's decision to attack Bella, he did not think that anyone would follow him.

_Now that I'm leaving, I hope they'll all go back to Sam._

"I would go, but my mom will freak if I just take off. I'm still getting grounded every time I sneak out at night," Embry elaborated.

"It's good that you're staying," Jacob told them. "You should _all_ stay," he rebuked Seth.

"I'm going," Seth insisted. _And you won't stop me._

I pictured Seth facing Jacob, with his arms crossed, stepping forward, to emphasize his point. I envisioned Jacob staring down at him. Even so, Seth would not be deterred.

"I'm gonna miss you guys," Quil said.

"Yeah, me too," Embry agreed.

"I know. It'll be weird not hanging out with you all the time," Jacob conceded. _I'm really going to miss you. _"I won't miss you in my head though," he joked with them.

Jacob did not want them to feel badly. Nevertheless, they did. Both Quil and Embry wanted to go with Jacob. It had been difficult for both of them to see Jacob leave the pack. They joined his pack as soon as they were able to leave Sam's. Knowing they could not go with him now was distressing them. I began to understand why Jacob had decided not to meet with them in their wolf forms. Hearing their thoughts would make it difficult for him to ignore his own feelings. Jacob did not want them to hear his thoughts, to realize how hard this was for him. He did not want them to feel worse about their decision to stay because of how he much he would be affected by it.

"Not that anyone has asked me, but I still haven't decided what I want to do," Leah said snidely.

_I definitely won't miss _her_ in my head_, Jacob thought wryly.

"I really want to stay here. I don't owe the bloodsuckers anything, but I wouldn't want Seth to go without me," Leah continued.

_It's not that I don't want Seth to go with us, I don't mind the kid at all, but I know that if he goes, then Leah will want to go too and I want her to stay here. I understand her pain and until a few months ago, I could relate. We were both feeling rejected and hurt. It almost made sense then to have her around. Things have changed. I don't feel that agonizing pain anymore. It was erased the first time I saw Nessie. I don't want Leah with us. I don't want a constant reminder. I don't want to feel her pain. Seth should not have to feel that pain. _

"When are you leaving?" Embry asked.

"I think we'll be leaving during the summer. Carlisle thinks that we should give ourselves enough time to move and be settled by September. I guess that makes sense, since I'm going to have to go back to school at some point. This break I'm on isn't going to last forever."

"We? Are you one of _them_ now, Jacob?" Leah sneered.

"How can you even consider going to New York with us when you're acting like this?" Seth protested. "You don't want to go, so you should stay here. I don't need you to protect me."

Leah did not respond.

_She can stay here so she can protect him from having to feel her pain. That's the only thing he'll need protection from. I need to convince her to stay. How am I supposed to do that?_

I understood Jacob's motivation more clearly now. Not only did he not want to further upset his friends, but he also wanted to be able to react to this conversation without having to censor his thoughts. He must have known what Leah's reaction would be if she knew what he was thinking at this moment. And he was not prepared to address her concerns at this particular time.

"Jake, what do you think we should do in the meantime?" Quil wondered.

"What do you mean?"

"We'll probably join Sam's pack again. I'm sure he'll take us back. Do you think we should do that now or do you think we should wait until after you leave?" Embry asked.

"I don't know. You would need to figure that out. You can talk to Sam to see what he thinks. I'm not going to tell you to stay and I'm not going to kick you out. I'll be fine either way. Things are good with Sam now, so I'm sure that he'll be okay with whatever you decide."

"Those are the options that you leave me with? Follow you and those leeches to New York or be forced to rejoin Sam's pack? I can't believe you did this!" Leah said bitterly.

"There's always a third option. You can stay in my pack and not go with us. You could be alone. It's not like anyone wants to hear you complaining all the time anyway."

"I don't understand how you imprinted on _her,_" Leah snarled.

"Leah, really, you need to get over it." Jacob growled at her.

"I just don't understand it. Aren't you supposed to imprint on the person who can best help you continue the bloodline? How is _she_ the best person to do that? Can she even _have_ children? And what would happen if she had them with you? What do you call a child that's half wolf, a quarter human, and a quarter bloodsucker?" Leah spoke of Renesmee with disgust.

"I don't know if she can have children," Jacob spat at her. "I haven't thought about _that_. She's just a child. All I know is that I love her and that I can't be without her. I don't know why I imprinted on her, I just know that I did and she is my world now. I would do anything for her. Wherever she is, I need to be."

I was impressed with how vehemently Jacob defended Renesmee.

"Maybe you're not always supposed to take the imprinting theory so literally," Seth suggested.

"What do you mean?" Quil asked.

"Well, no one really knows for sure why we imprint, but if the theory is true, and we imprint with the person that will best help to carry on our lineage, that will best help us survive, then Jake imprinting on Nessie is the best way of making sure that happens."

"Why are you defending him? And how is _she_ supposed to help?" Leah fired back.

"When Jake imprinted on Nessie, it strengthened the treaty far beyond what either side could ever commit to. We would never do anything against her or the rest of the Cullens and they would never do anything to Jake or to us because either way it would destroy Jake or Nessie, or both. There's nothing that could unite us more."

"So it has nothing to do with physically carrying on the lineage but protecting the pack as a whole?" Jacob asked, almost to himself. _Kid might have a point._

"Maybe," Seth was very proud of himself for figuring out this option.

I had never considered it that way. Seth had an interesting point, especially since Jacob was the true Alpha. I could not think of a stronger bond that could unite us. Leave it to Seth to find the most positive outlook to the situation.

"Either way I'm in. I like this pack. And I like the Cullens," Seth reiterated.

"I need to talk to Edward and I still have to talk to Billy," Jacob told them. "Seth, I'll let Edward know that you're going with us."

"If you're meeting with Edward, I'm with you," Seth did not like being left behind.

"We should go talk to Sam," Quil suggested.

"If he's okay with it, I want to stay with your pack until you leave," Embry offered.

"Sure, sure. Let me know what you guys decide," Jacob replied.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Leah asked.

"You should seriously consider the third option that I mentioned earlier. We can talk more about it later," Jacob told her.

_Maybe I can get Seth to help me convince her that she should stay here._

I heard them phase and I could hear Jacob and Seth running towards the house. I leapt from my bedroom window and headed into the forest. It was a typically overcast evening in Forks. The clouds descended from the sky to cover everything in a misty fog. I jumped over the river and silently continued walking. The light drizzle in the air intensified the woody bouquet of the forest. The scents of the moss on the tree trunks and the pinecones in the trees above mingled with the clean smell of the water. I smiled to myself as I remembered Bella's initial reaction to Forks. _'Too green'_ she had softly mumbled in her sleep.

I inhaled deeply to take in the forest around me. Jacob and Seth's scents hit me like a wall. I quickly stopped breathing until I could adjust to the burning in my nose. I heard them phase back before I saw them approaching me.

"You heard us?" Jacob assumed when he saw me.

"Yes. You asked that I pay attention, did you not?" I replied, raising my eyebrows at his request.

"Good. That annoying talent of yours finally helped me out," Jacob laughed.

"Have you and Bella decided anything yet?" Seth asked.

"Nothing definitive yet, but Bella and I agree with Carlisle that we should go to Sherrill. We trust him."

"We'll go wherever you, Bella, and Nessie decide to go," Jacob confirmed. _I don't really care about the others._

Jacob's thoughts surprised me. Would we not all be moving together? I had assumed that we would, whether we decided to move to Sherrill, or somewhere else. Carlisle felt very strongly that this would be a family decision. Now that we were all deciding our own stories, would we all be able to agree? The alternative would break Esme's heart.

"How's Bella taking this?" Seth asked, leaning on his arm against a tree.

"I think it's going to take her some time to adjust to the idea. She is happy to have maintained her relationship with Charlie since her change. Since he knows about Nessie, Bella will be able to remain in contact with him even after we move. They will not be able to return here to visit him, but he can travel to visit us anytime he would like. There are many memories here for her, some of which she is sad to leave behind. She has been reminiscing since Carlisle spoke of leaving, but according to her, she's fine," I shrugged.

"She always is," Jacob rolled his eyes. _There isn't anything she wouldn't do for anyone. She nearly died for Nessie. I'm sure moving won't be quite as difficult._

I nodded slightly. As usual, Jacob was able to see Bella clearly.

"Jake said you were coming up with a public story. Do you have one yet?" Seth asked.

"Not completely. Bella and I decided that we would be moving as a married couple. Beyond that, we are not sure. We have not quite figured out how Nessie will fit into our story. We'd like to be able to say that she's our daughter, but we're concerned about how young we look, and that as the years pass, Nessie will grow to look like she's our age."

"At least you'll all be together," Seth encouraged.

Seth had such an optimistic view of life.

"How are we going to explain me and Seth?" Jacob asked. _It's not final yet, but we'll be the only two going with you._

I pressed my lips into a hard line to avoid smiling. "You'll need to create a story as well. What have you been able to find out about the Onondaga reservation that Carlisle mentioned?"

"Nothing yet. I didn't want to talk to Billy until I knew what I should be asking him."

"How do you think he'll take it?"

"He won't be surprised that I've decided to go with you. I'm just glad that I'm not leaving him here alone. _Though, it wouldn't be the first time._ Rachel and Paul will be here to help him in case he needs anything."

"And my mom will have Charlie. I'm thrilled that they're getting married! Who knew that one day Bella would be my big sister? I guess that would make us brothers," Seth laughed.

"I guess it does," I nodded, smiling, liking the idea as it registered.

I had not dreamt that I would have an actual family since I lost my parents almost a century ago. My current family was together because we chose to be, because we believed in living the same way. I loved my family and would never diminish how much they meant to me. I had not fully appreciated the gift that Bella had given me when she agreed to be my wife. I had been so concerned, and then ecstatic, about her joining my family, that I hadn't considered how much it would impact me that I was becoming a part of hers. Bella had not only given me a daughter, she had given me a real extended family. Now that Charlie was being remarried, the family – _my_ family – was growing. Seth would be my brother.

"That means you get Leah as a sister too," Jacob roared with laughter.

"We're trying to convince Leah to stay here," Seth said, trying not to laugh with Jacob.

"It's good that your parents won't be left behind alone. I know that Bella is more comfortable with the move because of it," I replied.

I wanted to support Carlisle in allowing each of them to make their own decisions, so I did not say anything about Leah. I ran my fingers through my hair. Based on her comments from earlier, I had my concerns about her joining us.

"What did you think of Seth's imprinting theory?"

"It's an interesting approach. I had not considered that vantage point. It seems that it _could_ be applied in that manner. Of course," I half smiled, "I would support any theory that reflects on my daughter favorably."

"It does seem to make sense," Jacob was still thinking it through, intrigued by the idea.

"Of course it does," Seth grinned. _I thought of it._

"We should probably be heading back. I can ask Billy about it too; see what he thinks. Any idea when we're meeting again?" Jacob asked.

"Not specifically, but Rose and Emmett are leaving on their trip in a couple of days and from what I've gathered, everyone would like to settle things before they leave," I explained.

"I'll let you know what I find out," Jacob told me. _I still need to talk to Leah._

"See ya later!" Seth said as pushed himself off the tree and turned to leave.

"We will let you know if anything changes," I assured them.

Jacob and Seth headed back into the forest. I turned and began running back to the house. How much did Billy know about the Oneida tribe? Carlisle hoped they would help to make the move easier for Jacob. I did not know if it worked that way. I knew Jacob was not completely comfortable with us, so I was grateful that he was not traveling alone, and relieved it would be Seth to accompany him. I sincerely hoped that they found a way to convince Leah that she should remain behind. The anger she directed at Nessie would be apt to cause problems in the future. Judging from Jacob's thoughts, he was in full agreement.

It was unusual to me that Jacob and I were having these discussions, instead of Carlisle and the tribe elders, as it had been in the past. The dynamic of our relationship with the tribe had also evolved. While the treaty still did not allow us to travel onto the reservation, Jacob and his pack were moving freely on our side of the Quileute border. Bella had been the impetus behind that change. Her Switzerland approach had finally taken hold. She had been right; we did not have to hate each other if we chose not to.

I entered the house and found Jasper watching a civil war documentary in the living room. The house was otherwise empty.

"Is your wife still holding mine hostage at the mall?" I asked him, seating myself on the couch across the room.

"You know Alice – she won't be home as long as there is still something left in the store."

"I suppose we will need to begin clearing out closets again," I ventured.

"Perhaps, but if I know her, she is probably out shopping for New York."

"You've accepted Carlisle's suggestion?" I asked hopefully.

"We have, in a way. We have not finalized any specifics yet, but I did some research on Sherrill and it seems like it would be an appropriate option."

I nodded. It did not surprise me that Jasper had gathered further details to make a more informed decision. Jasper was strategic, relying on knowledge before he acted; Alice was his counterpoint, driven by her emotions. They balanced each other nicely. Interestingly, their preferences did not coincide with their own gifts. Feelings were central to Jasper's gift while Alice's visions gave her some information of the future, based on someone's decision. I believed these differences helped to connect them in a way few could understand.

"What did you discover?"

"Carlisle wasn't joking when he said it was New York's smallest city – there are just over one thousand households living in only two square miles," Jasper explained.

"That _is_ a small area, but it sounds as though there could be plenty of space."

"There is," Jasper confirmed. "There are so few people living there, we would easily be able to have our privacy. I can see why Carlisle suggested it. There are three hospitals within twenty miles and a number of colleges nearby. The area borders a large forest that offers plenty of hunting options."

Bella might want to attend college so it would be convenient to have a few nearby. We had not discussed what to do about Dartmouth yet, although I had a feeling what her response would be. I was more intrigued with the hospitals in the area. I had two graduate degrees in medicine, but I did not know how much that would matter, considering what I was. I was not Carlisle. Would I ever truly be able to escape my nature?

"What is it about the place that is making you anxious?" Jasper was quick to detect my mood.

I shook my head. My errant thought was not a viable option. It was futile to discuss it aloud. I could not understand why I kept going back to it. The idea had taken root in my mind and would not be thwarted. I found myself imagining the possibilities and dismissing them just as quickly. It would never work. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the picture in my mind.

I needed to change the direction of our conversation. "Where is Esme?"

Thankfully, Jasper was not one to insist on a topic.

"She left earlier with a few packages. She didn't say where she was going; just that she was going to go be a grandmother."

I thought Renesmee was spending the day with Rosalie and Emmett. "She was with Nessie?"

"No." He shrugged. "I was confused too."

When I did not respond, Jasper turned back to the program he had been watching, leaving me to my thoughts. I needed to stop imagining the impossible. I needed a distraction. I rose from my seat on the coach and started for the front door. I headed into the forest, unsure of exactly where I was going, when I heard Bella and Alice returning home. I turned back to the house to greet them.

Bella had been gone almost all day and I missed her. I was uneasy whenever she was away from me. It was not so much that I worried about her, which I did, but more so that I felt a piece of me was missing whenever she was not with me. I stood on the front steps and waited for them to come into view, driving up the long driveway. When Bella noticed me, she smiled, and allowed me into her thoughts.

_ I missed you._

I smiled back at her as I walked toward the approaching car. She was thinking about last night. Bella and I had been alone in the cottage every night since the family meeting. Esme or Rosalie had requested that Renesmee sleep in the main house so they could spend time with her. Bella had her eyes closed, and in her mind, I was kissing her passionately. I ached with a desire to be near her. The car had barely come to a stop when I opened her door. I reached for her hand and pulled her to me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her lips softly.

"I missed you too love," I whispered against her lips.

Bella reached her arms around my neck and buried her hands in my hair, pulling me against her as she kissed me. Her mind wandered to our room, replaying last night again, this time the image of her sliding my shirt off my shoulders ran through her mind. She remembered how my fingers felt as I ran them down her back. She let a soft moan escape her lips. I lifted her in my arms and ran to our cottage with her. I placed her on our bed and took her lips in mine again. We spent the rest of the night in each other's arms.

The morning came too quickly. I silently cursed the sun streaming into the room through the window. I was not ready to let Bella out of my arms yet, but I knew we needed to face the day. I ran my fingers through her hair, caressing her shoulder as her hair fell past it.

"I thought that we could visit our meadow today," I suggested.

"I would like that," she smiled. "What about Renesmee?"

"She's at the house with Jacob."

"We're so lucky, she's got them all entranced," Bella laughed.

"Shall we?" I asked rising from our bed.

It was not long before we reached our favorite place. One day, I wanted to marry Bella again, in our meadow. Perhaps we would be able to return in the future to declare our eternal commitment to each other in the place where we fell in love. I sat with Bella in the soft grass, in the middle of the circle of wild flowers.

"No matter where we go, this will always be ours, it will always be us," I mused.

"I know we have to go, but there is so much I'm going to miss."

"You will always have it with you. Our memories do not fade. Besides, you will not be leaving everything behind - Jacob and Seth are going with us."

"Of course they are," she laughed. "I don't think there's anything that would keep Jacob from going."

"You're probably right," I agreed.

I told Bella about Jacob's meeting with his pack and about the conversation I had with him and Seth.

Bella sighed. "I don't think that we should tell Charlie about the move until after the wedding."

"You don't want to give him time to prepare?" I asked.

"I don't want to give him time to worry about it. It'll be easier on him if we tell him closer to the moving date."

"He will be hurt if he hears about it from someone else. Many people know about it and I do not know if Seth or Leah has told Sue, but there is a good chance that Charlie might hear about it. I am sure he would rather hear it from you."

"I hadn't thought about that. I don't want him to think that we're just leaving, without saying anything to him, especially when we promised him that we wouldn't do that."

"How are you going to explain that Jacob is going with us?" I asked.

"I don't know. It's not like we can tell him about the imprinting. I'll talk to Jacob. Maybe he has an idea of what we can tell Charlie." Bella did not want to hurt Charlie.

I smoothed the crease between her eyebrows. "There is nothing to worry about, love."

She could not hide the uncertainty in her eyes.

"How was your day with Alice?" I changed the subject.

She smiled, acknowledging my unsubtle change in topic. "Actually, shopping wasn't as nearly as bad as it's been in the past. I missed Alice and I actually didn't mind shopping so much when we were shopping for other people, especially for Renesmee. Of course, Alice bought much more than she needed to, but that's just Alice. We talked about moving – we both agree that it's not so important where we move, as long as we move together. She did say that she and Jasper were leaning towards Sherrill, but they weren't going to decide until they heard what everyone else wants to do."

"I spoke with Jasper briefly yesterday. He feels that Carlisle suggested a good location for us."

"What are we going to do there?" she wondered.

"Anything you would like. Jasper mentioned that there are a number of colleges in the area. Have you thought about what you want to do about Dartmouth?"

"I think Dartmouth will have to wait a few years. If you convinced them to accept me once, I'm sure you can bribe them again in the future," she said flippantly.

"We can get you registered somewhere closer then, if you prefer."

"I was thinking of holding off on college for right now. I would rather spend the time with Renesmee. She won't be able to go to school and I could be a big part of her home schooling. I have an eternity to go to college," she grinned.

"You prefer to return to high school then?" I was surprised.

"Actually I was hoping we could be adults in our public story. I'm sure Alice could help us look older. I just want to be your wife."

"Bella," I said, taking her face in my hands, looking into her dark eyes, "you will always be that."

She rose slightly, until she sat as tall as me. She looked radiant in the sunlight. She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you," she whispered.

"As I love you," I replied.

Bella sat back down, leaning against me, resting her head on my chest. I held her in my arms and kissed the top of her head.

"What will we say about Renesmee?" she asked quietly.

"I'm not sure. We have a few options, although I think we need to say that she is related to us somehow. She looks too much like us to not be related. We could say that she is our daughter. That might raise a few eyebrows, but not for any reason we need to be concerned about. We could say that she is my or your younger sister or niece, and that we had to take her in. What do you think?"

"If we don't say that she's our daughter, we would need to say that she's related to you. She doesn't look like me now; she looks like me when I was human. The resemblance is stronger with you."

"You think it is best if we do not say that she is our daughter?" I asked her.

"I don't know if we can look old enough to have a seven year old daughter. We'd need to appear at least twenty-five. Can Alice make us look that much older?"

"Alice could probably do anything," I reassured her.

"I can't believe I'm actually considering asking Alice for a makeover." She shook her head.

"Careful, love, if Alice catches on to what you are considering, she will be bursting through those trees any second now," I joked.

Bella laughed. "What do _you_ want to do? If you want to go to college, Renesmee would probably need to pretend to be your sister or your niece."

I hesitated. If I told Bella about the impossible thoughts of joining the medical field, like Carlisle, she would encourage me. Her faith in me was astounding. Carlisle too, would believe in me, trust me. I was not prepared to talk about this now. I might never be.

"I do not know yet. I like the idea of just being your husband," I breathed in her ear.

"You'll always be that," she repeated my words, twisting her head to look up at me, grinning.

"We do not need to make any decisions right now. We still have plenty of time."

"We should tell them that we agree to go to Sherrill," she suggested.

"If you are certain, then I agree."

"If we all have to move, then it'd be great if we could all be together. Alice and Jasper are thinking of going there too, and I don't want to move far away from Alice. Plus, she made me promise yesterday that we would move to the same place."

"Esme will be so pleased if we all move together. I want to stay near everyone as well. Did Alice tell you what Rose and Emmett are planning?"

"You mean besides their upcoming trip?" she shook her head. "Alice hasn't seen or talked to them. They've been hunting and getting ready to leave."

"We can try to discuss our plans with the family tonight. We can tell them that we accept Carlisle's suggestion of moving to Sherrill. Once we all agree on a location, we will have time to finalize our stories."

"Let's head back so we can tell them what's going on," Bella suggested. "I'm curious about what Billy said to Jacob. And I want to make sure no one has said anything to Charlie yet."

"We should hunt before we go home. Your eyes are getting dark, love, you must be thirsty." I said softly, running my fingers down her neck.

I did not want Bella to be in pain. Her incredible self-control made it easier to forget that she was a newborn – she should be feeding more regularly. It would not be long now before her eyes lost the last tinge of red. The golden color would never compare to her chocolate brown eyes that had drawn me in, but she would be relieved not to worry about wearing contacts again.

Despite her words, Bella did not stir. I was in no hurry to leave either. I lay down on the grass, propping myself on my elbow. I reclined Bella against me. It was too easy to reminisce about the first time I brought Bella to this beautiful place. The woman I had so hesitantly touched then now lay in my arms. The conflicting emotions I felt that day, knowing I should leave, wanting her desperately, ran through my mind. I had not thought then, that she could feel the same about me. Bella could not, should not, love a monster. Yet, here she was, my love, my wife.

We spent the next several hours in our meadow, lost in our own world. When we left, the sun was dropping in the western sky.

We raced home after we both hunted. I reached the house just before Bella did. I took her hand and led her through the front door. Renesmee ran to greet us before we had completely entered the house.

"Hello love," I said softly as I swung her into my arms.

She giggled. "Hi Daddy! Hi Momma!" she said excitedly. "We were waiting for you."

We walked into the living room where Jacob was sitting with Alice and Esme.

"Waiting for us? What were you waiting on?" Bella asked, looking at Jacob curiously.

"Don't look at me," he replied.

I sat on the loveseat beside Bella with Renesmee on my lap.

"Aunt Alice told me that Grandma Esme has a surprise for me, but I couldn't have it until you came home. She wants to give it to you too."

Esme laughed. "Nessie is very excited, but has been waiting very patiently, considering. More so than Alice," she chided her jokingly.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with your mysterious outing yesterday, would it?" I asked her.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it does," Esme smiled lovingly at Renesmee. "Nessie is growing so fast and I wanted to do something for her, for you, to remember. Not that we forget, but I thought having a record would be nice."

Esme got up and glided into the living room. She quickly returned carrying several wrapped packages. She placed them on the table in front of Bella before she returned to her seat.

"I hope you all enjoy them," she gestured to the gifts.

"Nessie, would you like to unwrap them for us?" I suggested.

Renesmee nodded enthusiastically. She slid off my lap and climbed down. I took one of the packages from the stack, and set it down in front of her. She tore through the wrapping paper and uncovered a light pink, leather bound book with Renesmee's name etched in silver on the cover.

"You may have noticed that we have taken many, many pictures of Renesmee since her birth. I had them professionally scrapbooked for you – three books, one for each year, of growth, so far.

Bella reached for the book and placed it in her lap. She ran her fingers over the leather cover, tracing Renesmee's name. She opened the cover, and I read the inscription on the first page.

**To my wonderful Granddaughter – Celebrating your First Year**

Renesmee climbed back onto my lap so she could see the book as well. Bella flipped through the pages, in silence, carefully studying each one. They were beautifully decorated, displaying photos of Renesmee taken during her first month. There were enough pictures to chronicle a year, some even taken the same day, in different outfits.

"That's me," Renesmee whispered.

"Yes it is," Bella said slowly, in awe. "Esme, thank you so much, this is wonderful." If she could cry, there would have been tears in Bella's eyes.

Bella placed the book on the table and stood to give Esme a hug.

"I am so glad you like it," Esme told her.

"It's perfect," I agreed.

Renesmee slid off my lap again and walked over to Esme.

"Thank you Grandma Esme," she grinned at her. "It's very pretty."

Esme picked her up to hug her. "You're very welcome."

Bella sat back on the loveseat next to me and reached for the second book, to unwrap it. When Esme placed Renesmee down, she walked over to the table in front of us, picked up the first book, and carried it over to Jacob. She placed the book on his lap and climbed onto the couch next to him. Bella opened the second book, which was inscribed in a similar fashion. This was Renesmee's second year, taken during her second month. Jacob looked through the book that Renesmee gave him.

_It's strange to see Nessie growing so quickly in these pictures. It looks different now that I'm not afraid of what might happen to her, like I was when we lived through it._

Jacob knew not to say that aloud. Bella handed him the second book when we finished looking at it, and began unwrapping the third one.

_I have good news… Leah has decided not to go with us. I talked to Billy too. Do you want to talk about it tonight?_

I looked at Jacob and shook my head slightly, glancing at Renesmee. It was easier to talk about the future move when Renesmee was not there. Bella and I wanted to talk with her about it when we had all decided what was going to happen. It would be easier for her to understand if we presented her with a complete picture of what would be happening.

"Nessie, would you like to help me find a special place for your books?" Esme asked her after a few moments. She had noticed my interaction with Jacob and was giving us the opportunity to talk.

"Thank you Esme," I said to Esme as she rose to collect Renesmee's photo albums.

"Can we put them in Daddy's room?" Renesmee asked her.

"That's a lovely idea," Esme replied, carrying her upstairs.

Jacob and I stood. "Jacob has some news to share with us. We should talk outside," I suggested.

Bella and Alice followed us out the front door. We walked down the long drive and headed into the forest.

"I'll be right back," Jacob said when we stopped walking.

He walked further into the trees and phased.

_Seth, I'm with Edward and Bella. You wanted to be here when I told them, so hurry up. We're in the forest out by the front drive._

He phased again and walked back to us.

"I promised the kid I'd let him know," he shrugged.

"What's going on?" Alice asked. She was frustrated; she hated not being able to see.

"I'll start with the really good news. Leah has decided to stay in La Push. She didn't want to go to New York with us, mostly because she doesn't like bl- you, but she didn't want to join Sam's pack again either. I offered her a third option. I told her that she didn't have to do either. I suggested that she could still be part of my pack even if she stayed here."

"How will that work?" Bella asked.

"Since she isn't rejoining Sam's pack, she won't have to hear his thoughts or worry about him hearing hers. That was her main concern. We don't know if she'll still be able to hear Seth or me from so far away, but that's okay. Leah doesn't want to phase anymore. Once you leave, she won't have a reason to."

"And hopefully everything with her will return back to normal," Seth added as he joined us.

"Only you and Seth are going with us?" Alice asked Jacob.

"Yes, the others are rejoining Sam's pack."

"I refrained from saying anything earlier, as I did not want to interfere in Leah's decision, but I am relieved that she decided to stay. I did not appreciate her commentary about Renesmee."

"I didn't either," Jacob agreed with me.

Bella looked at me and then at Jacob, realizing that I had not given her the full details of Jacob's conversation with Leah.

_You didn't tell her?_ Jacob was surprised.

"What did I miss?" Bella asked angrily.

"Nothing – it really does not matter now that Leah is not going with us."

Bella continued to look at me expectantly. She was not letting this go.

"Leah was upset that she was being forced to choose between moving to New York with us and rejoining Sam's pack, and she blamed Jacob for imprinting on Renesmee."

Bella nodded slowly, but did not reply. The crease between her eyebrows returned. She was thinking again, thoughts I could not hear.

"What did you find out about the Oneida tribe? Does moving to Sherrill work for you?" Alice asked impatiently.

"It will work for us, if it works for you," Jacob assured her.

"We talked to Billy," Seth continued. "He said that people born into the Oneida tribe belong to one of three clans: the Wolf, Turtle, or Bear clans. They are born into their mother's clan."

"Right, and if you're not born a part of the Oneida tribe, they will adopt you into one of the clans. Apparently, the Wolf clan is the one responsible for taking people in from other tribes, so most of them become Wolf. We should fit right in," Jacob grinned.

"It figures that they would be the ones taking in strays," I laughed.

Everyone laughed, even Jacob.

"Have you figured out what you're going to tell them about why you're moving there?" Bella asked.

"Not exactly – Edward said we have time to decide what our cover story will be," Jacob replied.

"You do," I reassured him. "We all do. The main priority is determining where we will go. Once that is decided, we may even be able to work out our stories together."

"How did Billy react when you told him you are leaving?" Bella asked Jacob.

"He understands why I have to go. I can always come back to visit him, so he's okay."

"We all agree with Carlisle?" Alice confirmed.

"Looks that way," Jacob nodded.

"It's time for another family meeting," Alice suggested. "Jacob and Seth should come too. We can find out what Rose and Emmett want to do."

"Carlisle is back from his shift at the hospital," I told them. "We could do it now."

"I can come too?" Seth asked excitedly.

"Of course," Bella smiled at him. "You're family too."

I took Bella's hand as we walked back up the long drive. Alice was trying to see what would happen after the meeting, but she was not able to because of Jacob and Seth.

"Alice, you know will not be able to see the outcome of this. Stop frustrating yourself. You are giving _me_ a headache."

"Get out of my head," she muttered.

Jasper greeted us at the door. "What's all the excitement about?"

Alice gave him a quick kiss. "It's time to talk," she squealed.

Jasper nodded and led her into the dining room.

"I should try to get Renesmee to bed before we get started," Bella said.

"She's already there," Esme said as she descended the stairs with Carlisle. "We were telling her stories about the pictures in her books, and she fell asleep."

"Don't get too accustomed to it. It won't be long now before she doesn't go to sleep so early," Carlisle reminded us.

"Yeah, pretty soon she'll be sneaking out to see Jacob," Emmett laughed, jokingly punching Jacob, as he walked past us into the dining room.

I glared at him, following him into the dining room, trying to remain calm.

"Don't provoke him," Jasper warned Emmett.

Emmett laughed as he sat next to Rosalie. We were in the same seats as we had been several days ago. Seth sat in the previously empty chair between Bella and Jacob.

"That was not funny," Rosalie muttered. "We don't know that she'll even _choose_ him," she said snidely, glancing at Jacob.

"Rosalie," Bella said softly, shaking her head.

"Why don't we get started," Carlisle suggested.

"Good idea, doc," Seth agreed.

"Jacob, what can you share with us?"

"Seth and I will be the only ones joining you in New York. Leah is going to remain in my pack, but she has decided to stay in La Push. The others are rejoining Sam's pack. I spoke with Billy about the Oneida tribe. He says they are a welcoming group, and will most likely accept us, whether or not we decide to live on the Onondaga reservation with them."

"If Sherrill works for you, it'll work for us," Seth reiterated.

"I'm so glad to hear that," Esme said warmly.

"We are very pleased that you will be joining us," Carlisle agreed.

"Jasper and I agree with Sherrill," Alice said enthusiastically.

"We're in too," Emmett added.

Esme could not hide the joy in her eyes as she turned to Bella and me.

"We think Sherrill will be great," Bella reassured her.

"How wonderful," Esme exclaimed.

"It truly is," Carlisle marveled at our decisions. _I am so proud._

"Has anyone come up with their story?" Rosalie asked.

"Not exactly," Alice shook her head. "Have you?"

"We don't know yet," Emmett said. "We were thinking of checking it out when we're out there on our vacation."

"I know I don't want to go back to school," Jasper said.

"I didn't know we could do _that_," Seth was excited at the prospect.

"He can… _you_ can't," Jacob corrected him, laughing. "Sue would kill me if I let you drop out."

"Aww, c'mon Jake," Seth whined, making all of us laugh.

"Bella and I would like to move as a married couple. We have not decided exactly what Renesmee's story will be."

"I'm think I'll hold off on college for a few years," Bella added. "Renesmee will be grown before we know it; I want to spend time with her."

"Have you given any thought to your living arrangements?" Esme asked.

No one answered.

"We have not thought that far in advance," I finally told them.

"I think it will depend on the stories that you decide on," Carlisle surmised. "If you all decide to move as married couples, it may look strange if we all live together. We don't want anyone to feel badly about that decision."

"Of course, if any of you would like to continue as our adopted children, we would be more than happy to have you with us," Esme added.

"Alice, what are your plans?" I asked her.

"I don't know. It's hard for me to make a blind decision."

The conversation continued until the early morning hours. We did not make any decisions, but it was nice to know that we would all be traveling together. We determined that the next step for everyone should be to determine if they were moving as a married couple or if they would be moving as Esme and Carlisle's adopted children.

Perhaps I could be both. Bella and I had already agreed to move as a married couple, but I was hesitant to break the familial ties with my parents. Carlisle had been my father for almost a century. It felt unnatural to think of him as anything other.

"Jacob, you and Seth must be hungry. Can we fix you some breakfast?" Esme volunteered.

_Yes, please!_

"It's fine, we'll grab something when we get home," Jacob replied.

Esme's face fell.

"Seth would love some. He thinks your cooking is delicious," I reassured her.

Seth nodded enthusiastically at Esme. "I told you man, she can _cook_," he grinned sheepishly at Jacob.

"Kids," Jacob groaned.

Esme smiled at them. "It will be my pleasure," she told them before leaving for the kitchen.

"Our plane will be ready shortly, Rose. We should get to the airport soon."

"Let's check on Renesmee, love. She's waking up."

Bella nodded. "Please don't leave without saying goodbye," she said to Rosalie and Emmett, as she stood.

"Of course," Rosalie replied.

I slid my arm around her waist and led her upstairs. I stopped in the hallway that led to my bedroom, before we reached the door.

"Now that we know we're going to Sherrill, do you want to talk to Renesmee or Charlie first?" I asked Bella.

"Actually, I want to talk to Sue with Seth."

I raised my eyebrows. She never failed to surprise me.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**6. Panoramic View**

~ Mackenzie ~

Brandon and I returned to the city. We stood hidden in the shadows of a doorway, deciding when to begin our hunt. The street around us was mostly empty that night. It was just over a month since we had arrived in New York and we had discovered that the lower east side provided us with an ideal hunting environment. It was open and lively, and generally well populated with a variety of people.

The temperature dropped into the teens that evening, not that it was cold to us, but we had realized during our first hunting trip that if we didn't monitor the temperature and dress accordingly, we attracted much unwanted attention. This discovery had prompted us to shop for some winter items - well, without any money, it wasn't really _shopping_, but we were now dressed appropriately in winter coats with coordinating accessories.

A girl in her late twenties stormed out of the hotel across the street, allowing the door to slam shut in a man's face. He followed her as she rushed down the stairs and walked swiftly down the street, away from us.

"Wait!" he called after her. "Can't we just talk about this?"

"Leave me alone," she screamed at him, without turning back, and continued down the street.

"Baby, please come back," he pleaded. "It's freezing out here!"

She glanced back at him. "Why don't you drop dead and go to hell! It'll be hot enough _there_ for you," she yelled through her tears.

"I don't know what he did but that could be arranged," Brandon whispered to me with a mischievous grin.

She turned away from him again and began moving faster down the street. The man stopped and watched her walk away. She brought her bag to her chest and sprinted the rest of the block. We lost sight of her when she turned the corner. He looked back at the green awning of the hotel and again down the street, at where she had been. It took him a few seconds to decide. He turned back to the hotel, walking with his shoulders hunched over and his head hung low. He climbed the concrete steps and disappeared into the brick building.

"Your wish… my pleasure," Brandon said quietly as he stepped out of the doorway.

I reached out to take his hand. "Don't."

"Why not? I was planning to wait until he came back out. I wouldn't do it in the hotel."

"Because you'll give her a complex," I said, pulling him back.

"You're serious?"

I nodded, my eyes held his, pleading.

"Mackenzie, you can be such a _human_," he said with mock disgust, rolling his eyes.

I smiled at him. "Just because we're feeding doesn't mean we need to inflict psychological damage on those we aren't killing."

"Fine."

I looked down the street, to where the girl stood before she disappeared. "She would be devastated."

"Okay, okay. I'll leave him alone. Can we hunt now?"

Brandon was giving in too easily. He was up to something. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You're impossible," I exclaimed incredulously when I realized what he was thinking.

"I didn't do anything."

"Leave her alone. I can't believe you're thinking of going after her."

"Well, he didn't wish _her_ dead. He won't suffer any of that psycho crap you were talking about."

I shook my head. "I'm going to the park. Please be nice. They're not ready to die. Find someone else."

"I'll be good," he reluctantly agreed.

"Thank you."

"Meet you at George again?" he asked, referring to the equestrian statue of George Washington in the center of the park.

"Yes, I'll see you there."

I gave his lips a quick kiss and began walking down the street towards the park. My thoughts centered on the fighting couple and how each would react at finding that the other had died. The anguish and guilt she would feel when she realized that her hurtful words, said in a moment of anger, had happened. How painful it would be for him to realize that he had lost the chance to apologize and to be forgiven. If that should happen, I didn't want to have anything to do with it. It was a difficult feeling to rationalize, considering we survived on human blood.

Brandon didn't understand it. Humans were all the same to him, and he could feed on any one of them without regard to who they were. I suppose it would be easier for me if I were able to do that. I still saw them as people, and I was very aware that every time I had to hunt, I was taking someone's life. It's why we weren't able to hunt together. He hunted indiscriminately. I couldn't explain why I felt okay to take one life rather than another, it was just a feeling I had. Like the couple in the street, I felt like I just somehow _knew_ they weren't right, it wasn't their time, they weren't ready.

Perhaps it was all just to make myself feel better. As much as I enjoyed my immortality, and all its benefits, I continued to struggle with its only drawback – needing to kill to survive. Brandon often suggested that I stop worrying about it all and focused instead on the thrill of the hunt. My supernatural abilities had not made it any easier for me to turn my mind off.

The fire in my throat burned as a reminder of my ever-present need. I reached the park and found myself walking through it, heading south. There were several theaters just beyond the park's limits but there were no shows tonight to attract any audiences. I continued past the empty auditoriums into the darkness. I was almost at the corner when the scent reached me, further igniting my thirst. I saw him when I reached the end of the street, walking towards me from the other block, alone. I silently blurred toward him, turning into a parking lot before I reached him. I waited for him, standing away from the dim light that illuminated the few cars scattered throughout. He finally approached the entrance of the lot, and I wasn't surprised that one of the cars was his. The crisp night air told me there was no one else nearby. The venom pooled in my mouth as I leapt from the shadows, unable to delay my satisfaction any longer.

Brandon joined me in the park several hours later, his glowing red eyes indicating he was done hunting for the night. We left immediately, silently passing through the city, traveling north, returning to our current home.

"Did you find anymore ridiculous gadgets?" I asked him once we were in the secluded forests north of the city.

"They're not ridiculous," he defended. "One of these days you'll be glad I gave you that flashlight."

"I hope not," I said solemnly.

Brandon often returned from his hunting trips with various items that he collected throughout the night, including the money from his victims. He had found the flashlight during one of our trips into the city. I had never seen anything like it. It looked like a flashlight, but when you turned it on the beam of light was so strong, whatever you pointed it at actually lit on fire.

_He's only trying to protect me._ That's what I repeated to myself when he had insisted that we each carry one. We both knew that the only way to destroy a vampire was to tear it apart and burn the pieces. We had to be prepared for the attack we both still felt was coming.

"Maybe it'll never come to that," he responded hopefully, as if he knew my thoughts. "But if it does, at least we'll be prepared."

"I'm impressed that you've actually planned this out. Considering how strong that thing is, I'd say we're over prepared," I teased.

"Is there such a thing for you?" he laughed.

He knew me well. I playfully lunged at him, knocking him into one of the maple trees. It cracked slightly from the impact. He grabbed me at the waist, and spun us onto the ground a few yards away, landing on top of me.

"You fight like a girl," he whispered, his teeth grazing my ear.

I smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and turned to face him. When his eyes met mine, I lifted my head to bring my lips to his. His lips crushed against mine, his body pressing into me. I clenched my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. No longer pinning me down, his hands moved from my waist to the buttons of my coat.

I anchored my arms around his shoulders and turned him on his back. With one leg on either side of his waist, I sat up and slid my coat off in one fluid motion. I quickly unbuttoned his coat and leaned forward to lay on him, taking his hands in mine, and raising them over his head. I kissed his jaw, slowly moving my mouth towards the back of his neck. A groan escaped his lips when I reached his ear.

"That's because I am one," I whispered before I flew off him and disappeared into the dark forest laughing. I heard him behind me, chasing me, so I pushed myself to move faster. I loved to run – the speed was still so exhilarating. I only moved at a human pace when it was necessary. It was like being a kid again when you ran everywhere, just because you could. I didn't remember that time in my life very clearly, but I knew it couldn't have been this much fun. Our house was in sight when he caught me.

"That wasn't nice," he growled against the back of my neck, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

He was in front of me, kissing me, before I could respond. His mouth did not leave mine until we reached our front door. He opened it carefully and led me inside.

"Now, where were we?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

I hadn't noticed when the room began to lighten. The thick fog outside the window made the day easier to ignore. I was lying beside Brandon on the floor, with my head on his chest. He was running his fingers the length of my back, staring out the window.

"It looks beautiful outside," I sighed.

"I don't understand how haze and gloom add up to beautiful," he muttered.

"It is," I insisted. "Everything looks more mysterious and ethereal when it's all misty like this."

"You want to spend the day outside, don't you?" he asked, smiling, knowing the answer.

I nodded. I had always loved days like this, even when my nature didn't require that I avoid the sunlight. The world looked like a different place, better somehow. I pulled my eyes away from the window, frowning as I glanced at the place that we now called home.

"It's temporary," Brandon reassured me, when he noticed my disapproval.

"I know I shouldn't complain, especially since we've made it this far, but I do wish we were living somewhere less primitive."

"I know you hate living like this," he said soothingly. "I'm sure the uncertainty must be driving you crazy, but there isn't anything we can do about it yet."

"I thought for sure we'd know who we were running from by now. I know we've talked about this already, but I still can't figure out what could've happened to make Aro give up and walk away."

"I think he left to reorganize another attack. I've never seen him lose, but I imagine he isn't taking this turn of events too well. But it means that he still exists and is able to send someone after us because we abandoned him. It also means that the Cullen group can do the same."

"I know _that_. It's just that no one has ever been able to stand up to the Volturi that way."

"Exactly," he agreed. "We need to be ready for anything. And, as much as you don't want to consider it, that includes moving."

"I just want everything to go back to normal."

"I know," he said softly, kissing the top of my head.

Living in Volterra had taught me one very important lesson – if you wanted to have a permanent home, you couldn't hunt where you lived. After our first night hunting in the city, we had traveled north looking for somewhere to stay. We came across an abandoned structure in the middle of nowhere. It had two small window openings, one on either side, which someone had boarded up. Since we were miles away from the nearest town, we had removed the wooden boards, exposing the cracked glass. It didn't compare to the accommodations we had in Volterra, but I had to admit that having our freedom did make up for the missing amenities. At least for now.

The outside was weathered from the elements, painted in light grey with faded white trim. It was a storage shed, although the main house it had probably stood with at one time no longer existed. We had removed all the old, rusted pieces during the first few days. We made sure to take each piece somewhere different, and far. We didn't want to be discovered.

"I guess we really don't need much," I conceded.

"Let's get out of here," he suggested, bringing us to our feet.

"That's a good idea," I agreed as we began to dress.

"It's a perfect day to wander outside," he said, trying to mimic my voice.

I laughed at his attempt. "I do _not_ sound like that."

I could taste the heavy air as soon as we stepped outside. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the dense blanket that covered the world around us. The forest looked amazing. The trees were outlined in the clouds, their shapes blending with the grey that covered them. I felt so peaceful hidden in this world. I sighed contently.

"I knew this would make you happy," Brandon whispered.

We continued walking through the trees, enjoying the silence. The day reminded me of San Francisco, where I grew up. The area there was often covered in a fog so dense it obscured the bridges that extended from the city. I didn't remember all the specifics, but I knew that I was happy when I lived there. Although I enjoyed my current existence, I was grateful that my memories of being turned came from somewhere else. The home of my youth remained protected from my vampire nature.

I took two steps back and flung myself into the branches of a nearby tree.

"Mackenzie, what are you _doing_?"

"I want to see what the view is like from the tree tops."

"Just more grey," he muttered to himself as he leapt to join me.

I chose to ignore him as I began to climb. The top branches were still covered in ice from the last snowstorm. The view was incredible. The tree covered hills and mountains seemed to go on forever in every direction.

"This is beautiful," I said in awe.

"I have to admit, it is a fantastic view," Brandon agreed.

"Isn't it incredible how we see through the fog? It's like I can see everything, yet it all still has that misty feeling."

"You have beyond perfect vision and you like the one thing that makes your sight hazy," he chuckled.

"It's hard to explain. It's just so… peaceful"

I continued to stare out at the mountains in the distance, trying to determine how far I could clearly detect the needles of the evergreens. Brandon circled around me, taking in the panoramic view. From our perch in the branches, we could see for miles.

Suddenly I felt his body tense next to mine. I turned silently in the direction of his glare. I recognized them at once. The air was still and they were too far away for me to detect their scent, but I knew I had seen them in that clearing with the Cullens. We had feared this moment and now that it was here, I felt – _everything_. All the emotions I struggled with since we rejected our coven erupted and surged inside me.

I froze. I could do nothing but stare. The female was tall, with long blond hair, and strikingly beautiful. The male was huge, even from this distance, with dark hair. They strolled through the forest, in our direction, hand in hand. They stopped abruptly, crouching into a position I knew too well – they were getting ready to attack. Had they seen us? I didn't know how, but they must have. Their stances announced that they were ready to fight. The female sprung into action, running through the forest, arcing around us. They must have realized that we were here.

Brandon was gone in a flash. It took me a few seconds, much longer than it should have, to react. I threw myself lithely onto the branches of a neighboring tree, passing from one to the next, moving instantly towards Brandon and the muscled male vampire. Brandon charged at him before I could reach them. When I descended silently onto the ground a few feet from them, a vicious assault had already begun. I crouched, preparing to thrust myself into the midst of the battle. Suddenly something hard knocked into my side and propelled me through the air.

She slammed me into a tree several hundred yards away, causing it to fall from the impact. I was immediately on my feet, half-crouched, prepared to defend myself. The blond snarled at me, tensed and ready to attack. I could hear the growls and tearing sounds coming from the fight I could no longer see. My heart ached at the possibility that Brandon might be losing his fight. Her dark eyes hardened and she lunged at me.

I spun around her in defense, grabbing her wrist and twisting her arm behind her. I jumped up, placing my feet against her back, catapulting her forward, tearing her hand at the wrist. She landed and spun around, prepared to attack. The grating noises echoed through the forest, tearing at my heart. The blond attacked again. I wrapped my arms around her, constricting as hard as I could, realizing I was stronger than she was. I tore at her arm with my teeth.

I wasn't skilled at fighting. All I knew was that I couldn't lose. I had to defeat her because Brandon would not allow himself to be destroyed. I convinced myself that the groans and metallic grating sounds that I heard meant that Brandon was one move closer to victory. I wouldn't allow myself to believe any differently. Yet, I wasn't prepared for the surge of determination that hit me when I saw the pillar of dark smoke rising through the blanket of fog that still covered the trees.

It was as if my body knew what my mind couldn't figure out. I was on a branch before I fully realized I wanted to be there. I flew at her from above, landing on her, pinning her arm at her side, growling as my teeth ripped into her throat. Before she had a chance to react, I separated her head from her torso. I recoiled from the scent of the burning pyre when it reached me from across the forest. It reminded me of the flashlight I had secured in my left boot.

I quickly retrieved it, carefully aiming the weapon at the mangled torso in front of me. I silently thanked Brandon for finding it and insisting that I carry it with me. I began gathering the other pieces and adding them to the fire. I didn't want to think about what I had done. A tower of smoke began to rise, indicating the end of this struggle. The strong scent of burning incense wafted through the air. I focused on collecting all the fragments I knew I needed to burn. I didn't allow myself to think about the other survivor. After I gathered all the pieces, I watched as the flames engulfed the remains of the blond vampire.

Time had meant little to me over the last six years and it meant nothing to me in that moment. I don't know how long I sat, staring through the smoke, lost in my thoughts. I had never destroyed a vampire, and now that my survival instinct had relinquished its control over me, I was left reeling from what I had done. Those feelings wrestled with the uncertainty and increasing desperation that came from not knowing who else had survived.

I forced myself toward the other column of smoke. I walked the last few feet slowly. He stepped into my view several feet in front of me. I found myself looking into a pair of hard, golden eyes. The pain I saw in his eyes mirrored the pain that I felt in that moment. He had destroyed Brandon. I couldn't bring myself to attack. I didn't feel inclined to run away. I stood there, feeling the pain of my loss. He stared back. I couldn't look away.

My mind flooded with knowledge I was not prepared to process. I couldn't move past the image of Brandon's initial attack. The scene replayed repeatedly, like a film on a screen. I was stuck on the look of surprise that had crossed the face of the vampire before me when Brandon had attacked him. It was like he didn't expect to see him. How could that be when he was preparing to attack us? What was I missing?

I stood there, staring at him, lost in thought. He didn't move. I wondered how I must have looked to him. What would I do now? It was pointless to run away. He had killed Brandon – I would be easier to destroy. I don't know why I wasn't afraid. My thoughts were divided… scattered… it was too much. The overwhelming feeling of panic was starting to rise within me. The realization hit me like a bolt of lightening.

His name was Emmett.

The memories I had avoided from that day in the clearing, came to me in waves. Knowing that we were targets had been enough to scare me – I had forced myself not to remember the specifics. It was too late now. I was back in that clearing, seeing it all again. It still amazed me how, as a vampire, my mind was able to hold details that I didn't even know I knew.

Emmett. He had grinned when the child's mother turned to ask him to join her in presenting the child to Aro. The confusion I felt when I realized we were wrong. The child was not an immortal. How could it be that a human had conceived a child from a vampire? I struggled with having to kill to survive, but how could he, _Edward_ – my mind told me, have been so close to her and not have killed her, _Bella_?

The memories became clearer as they sped through my mind. I shuddered as I recalled the destruction of the informant, as Caius had called her. It's as if he knew his actions would incite an attack. It almost did. It would have if the Cullens had not stopped the two female vampires that had sprung to attack. She hadn't deserved to be destroyed. It was an assumption any of us would have made. Why had they stopped a fight they were obviously well prepared to fight? I wished we hadn't left so we – no, it was just me now – so I could know what happened at the end.

I was stunned when one of _them_ had addressed us. Garrett, a nomad witness for the Cullens, challenged Aro's motives, said his true purpose was to destroy the _family_ gathered there. I agreed with him that the ancients were grasping at straws, but his message contained more – a defense of the Cullens' lifestyle – that I hadn't understood. Garrett said that they lived a life of sacrifice – one that was different from ours – that was reflected in their golden eyes. He described them as a family, not a coven, whose bonds were strong because they denied their nature; they had found something that was worth more than their gratification.

I still struggled to understand the meaning behind Garrett's words. What would I deny if I went against my nature? I could think of nothing other than blood. How could they survive without it? That was impossible. But one of them had been intimate enough with a human to conceive a child. It _had_ to be blood that they sacrificed. The blond's eyes had been dark, as mine became when I had not fed. Yet, the golden eyes that Garrett had spoken of now stood before me and held mine. Emmett had fed, but if not on blood, then what?

My mind lost focus again, I thought of everything, again, all at once. It was difficult to make sense of it all, but I knew I was missing something. I was finding it harder not to think of Brandon, my heart ached at the thought of a future without him. The streaming thoughts came to a sudden halt. _They're committed to protecting human life, Aro. That makes them able to coexist with us, but hardly with you. Unless you're rethinking your lifestyle._

Not human blood.

I gasped.

The blood of animals.

Emmett and his blond mate had not been in the forest, preparing to attack us. They were _hunting_. We had attacked them. What had I done? Brandon had been destroyed for nothing. The realization of this truth was staggering. I felt as if I would collapse under the weight of the feelings that coursed through me. My physical strength was no match for the emotional onslaught.

"Emmett, I'm so sorry," I whispered, still looking into his eyes, before I turned and ran.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**7. Stronger**

~ Edward ~

My daughter was an angel in lavender satin as she whirled and danced about in Alice's room. I loved those words – _my daughter_. Having children was not something I had considered. I had not felt deprived in knowing that I could not have them, as Esme and Rosalie felt. I had not wanted Bella to give up anything to be with me, including the possibility of having children. I had never wanted to cause Bella to feel that way – to be the reason for that pain. In all my dreams of my future with Bella, I could not imagine that we would have a daughter. Yet, nestled on the settee in Alice's room with Bella, watching Renesmee, I had all I never knew I wanted.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen," I sighed in her ear, tightening my arms that already held her.

She turned her head and raised her lips to my jaw. _As I love you._

Alice had taken Renesmee shopping for a dress to wear to Charlie's wedding. Renesmee twirled about in her new, designed by Alice, custom-made dress. Alice was propped on her bed, watching enthusiastically as Esme snapped pictures of Renesmee, for the next photo album, no doubt. Renesmee giggled as she stopped spinning and ran towards Jacob, who was sitting in the corner, with his back against the wall, watching her. When she had almost reached him, she launched herself at him. His hands reached out, catching her in midair, and bringing her into his lap.

"Silly girl," Jacob shook his head smiling, "you need to be careful. What if I didn't catch you?"

"You'll always catch me," she responded immediately, laughing.

Renesmee knelt facing Jacob and placed her hands on either side of his face, showing him how happy she was. The simple honesty of her words affected Jacob. His reaction was not lost on me. He stared at her, watching the pictures she showed him, in awe.

_Wow. You are amazing. I can't believe you just said that. You have no idea how true your words really are. It's like you know how… _

He cut his thoughts short when he looked past Renesmee at Bella and I, and realized I was looking at him intently.

"Alice, the wedding isn't until May. What happens if she grows over the next three months?" Jacob asked.

_At the rate she's growing, the dress will probably not even fit her._

"Alice?" Bella called, bringing me out of Jacob's thoughts.

I turned to Alice when I did not hear her respond. She was frozen, stunned by the images running through her mind. I saw with her as she was transported through a fog-covered forest. The next image caught me off guard – Emmett, alone, fighting with another vampire. The scene did not last more than a few seconds before the outcome presented itself to Alice. Emmett stood before a column of smoke, appearing to be unharmed.

"Alice, what is it?" Jasper burst through the door, immediately sitting beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm not sure," she whispered blankly.

I did not completely understand what had transpired but I knew that Carlisle needed to come home. He was at the hospital and was not scheduled to return for hours. I reached for the silver phone in my pocket and dialed him.

"Carlisle, you should come home," I told him when he answered.

"Edward, what happened? Is everyone all right?"

"It's… I… you really should come _now_," I said softly.

"I'm on my way."

I closed the phone to end the call. I looked over at Alice again. She had not moved much. She sat leaning against Jasper, with her eyes closed. Alice was looking for Emmett. I watched as she searched the future and could not find him. She was beginning to become frustrated. I felt Jasper try to calm her.

"Edward, please," Bella pleaded, turning to look at me, her dark golden eyes wide with fear.

"Don't worry, love," I tried to assure her.

I flipped my phone open again and dialed Emmett's number. Alice stared at me as we heard the phone ring with no answer. I slammed the phone shut, becoming increasing alarmed. Esme stood in the center of the room looking at us with a concerned look. I hugged Bella tightly, brushing my lips across her cheek before getting up and approaching Esme.

"Edward, what is it?" Esme asked me.

I glanced at Alice. She was still searching for Emmett… and not seeing anything.

"It's hard to tell," I answered cautiously.

_Are those Italian leeches coming back?_

I looked over to Jacob and turned back across the room to look at Alice, discreetly answering him. Alice's vision showed nothing of the Volturi in Forks.

"Jacob, why don't you take Renesmee out to hunt," I suggested as I walked over to them.

Jacob stood hesitantly with Renesmee. I took her in my arms and sighed when she wrapped her little arms around my neck. She leaned back slightly and placed her hand on my cheek, showing me a picture of all of us in Alice's room. She was confused.

"What do you say, Nessie? You want to go hunting?" Jacob asked, trying to distract her.

"Not in that dress," Alice called softly, her voice breaking.

"Why don't I take her to change her into something more appropriate," Esme volunteered, gesturing for Renesmee.

I nodded. I gave Renesmee a quick kiss on the forehead before giving her to Esme. They left Alice's room and headed upstairs. Jacob stood near me shifting and fidgeting nervously.

_ I don't want to leave. I want to know what's going on._

"It's nothing here," I mouthed to Jacob so only he would hear.

Alice gasped. Another image flooded her mind. This time it was Rosalie – she was fighting a different vampire. Alice sank into Jasper as she realized that Rosalie would be destroyed. I felt wave after wave of tranquility coming from Jasper.

"No," I breathed.

Esme returned seconds later. Jacob took Renesmee in his arms and headed downstairs.

_I'm leaving now to protect Nessie from whatever it is you don't want her to hear – but you _will_ tell me what's going on._

I heard them leave the house. I closed my eyes, seeing Alice's visions play before my eyes again. I waited for Jacob and Renesmee to cross the river and make their way into the forest. Jacob was concerned. His thoughts focused solely on Renesmee, watching her even more vigilantly than normal. Once I could no longer hear their thoughts, I turned to Alice.

_Edward?_

I ran my fingers through my already disheveled hair. I could not answer Esme; I did not know what to tell her.

"Edward, please tell us what Alice has seen," Esme started.

How could I tell her? I did not have the words. I pinched the bridge of my nose. We needed to wait for Carlisle to arrive at home. It would not take him long. I could not bear to tell Esme this horrible news without him here. I realized Bella was standing next to me when she placed one arm around my waist and raised the other to my heart. I placed my hand over hers and brought my arm around her, hugging her tightly, and kissed the top of her head.

Alice shook her head as if trying to clear the scene from her mind. I could not speak. Emmett and Rosalie had been attacked. Emmett had survived. Rosalie had been destroyed. How would I explain what I did not comprehend?

_How did I not see this? I can't believe I didn't see this. How could I have let this happen? Why didn't I see this coming? Where is Emmett? Why can't I see him?_

Alice was sitting on her bed, with her legs bent at the knees and brought to her chest, arms wrapped around them, with her chin resting on her knees. She looked so small. Jasper sat next to her, with his arms still wrapped around her shoulders, supporting her tiny frame.

I needed to be stronger.

I turned to face Esme, kissing Bella's hand before releasing it.

"Esme, Alice has seen something terrible."

She did not reply, so I continued. "It isn't anything that is happening here, so there is no reason to be afraid."

She remained apprehensive.

"What is it?" she asked tentatively.

"I think I should tell you and Carlisle together."

"We should both tell you," Alice murmured.

"Alice, sweetheart, what's going on?" Jasper asked her.

"I had a vision," Alice began.

"It's about Emmett and Rosalie," I added.

"They were hunting," Alice continued. "I saw Emmett being attacked and destroying another vampire."

"Who was it that attacked him?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know. I've never seen him," Alice responded.

"That's not what is really important at this moment," I said softly.

_We need to prolong this until Carlisle gets home._

Alice had a point.

"He was tall, almost as tall as Emmett," she began. "His light brown hair was cropped really short. His eyes – he wasn't a vegetarian."

I heard Carlisle arriving at home and breathed a sigh of relief. He would be here to comfort Esme when we told them. Esme squeezed my hands and turned to meet Carlisle as he approached the room. I guided Bella back to the settee and sat with her, cradling her in my arms.

Carlisle embraced Esme. Leaving his arm around her shoulders, he led her back into the room. He glanced around the room at us, trying to decipher what the situation was. He became concerned when he did not see Renesmee.

_ Did something happen with Renesmee?_

"No, she's out hunting with Jacob," I responded to his unspoken question.

_Of course, I should have realized. You and Bella would be frantic if something had happened with her. Something did happen, though…_

Esme surprised me by telling Carlisle about Alice's first vision.

"He survived the attack?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," I confirmed. "Alice's vision showed that he appeared unharmed, and was standing before a column of smoke. We're assuming he destroyed the other vampire."

He nodded slowly. _I am not an advocate of violence of any kind, but it appears that Emmett had no other options in this situation. At least he is unharmed._

"Alice had another vision," I said, interrupting Carlisle's thoughts. I did not want to let him settle into a false sense of security.

"I saw Rosalie attack a female vampire, probably his mate," Alice began again. Jasper held her tightly, reacting to the emotions that began to resurface.

"Rosalie didn't make it, did she?"

All eyes turned to Bella, sitting with me by the window. Again, Bella was able to see straight through to the truth.

"No, love, she didn't," I replied, as I turned to face her.

She seemed surprise by my response. It was as if she was expecting to be wrong. The crease between her eyebrows reappeared, letting me know she was thinking again – thoughts that she was not sharing with me. It was still impossibly frustrating not to know what went on in her mind unless she chose to show me. I felt Alice search out Emmett again, and still nothing.

I faced the room again. "Alice's vision of Rosalie showed that…"

"NO!" Esme interrupted.

"Esme, I'm…"

"No. You're wrong," Esme told me. "You're both wrong," she said looking at Alice.

_Edward, I don't know what to say. I know what I saw... you saw it too. It was so real – I'm not wrong. I wish I were._

"Dear, I know this is difficult, but Alice has seen…"

Esme did not let Carlisle finish. "You can't possibly believe this. She's wrong. She has to be. No one would attack them. It has to be a trick of some sort. There has to be some other explanation."

_Edward, you are sure of what you and Alice saw?_

I nodded slightly. The pain he felt was evident in his eyes. He approached Esme with his arms extended.

"We're going to get through this," he told her.

She looked at him with disbelief. "I'll call them. You'll see that you're wrong," she told him. "My daughter is fine," she emphasized strongly, looking at all of us before she walked out of the room.

"I tried calling…"

Carlisle shook his head. _That will not help her now. She needs to call herself, to come to terms with what has happened._

Carlisle followed Esme out of the room. I felt Bella shift next to me, wrapping her arms around her body, holding herself. I recognized the position instantly though I had only seen in once before, in Jacob's thoughts.

_This is all my fault. How could I have let this happened?_

Alice's head fell on her knees. Jasper held her as he tried to console her and ease her guilt. She continued to search for Emmett, with no success.

_This is killing me... the guilt and anguish coming from Alice, Carlisle's sorrow, Esme's confusion and fear, you – your emotions are so erratic. I have never felt a stronger sense of loss than I do at this moment, from Bella. My own… it's too much, Edward._

"Alice, why don't we go for a walk or a run… maybe see the mountains?" Jasper suggested.

Alice immediately realized why Jasper was asking to leave. "I'm sorry; this must be so difficult for you."

She climbed down from the bed, took Jasper's hand, and left the room. Before he left, I felt a wave of calm pass through the room. Bella remained unaffected.

"Bella, love" I started, but I did not know what to say.

"I can't believe Rosalie is gone," she whispered.

"I know," I nodded, still in shock.

"Poor Emmett," Bella continued, her voice trembling.

I hugged her closer. I had never felt so helpless. I could hear Esme downstairs calling Emmett and becoming increasingly frustrated that she was not getting an answer. She did not deserve to suffer in this way. Bella held herself tighter, no doubt reliving what had caused her to react this way before – me leaving. I knelt in front of her and hugged her tightly, attempting to soothe her.

"I love you. You are my life. I am here. I am not going anywhere. You have me forever," I tried to reassure her.

Downstairs, I heard Esme yelling at Emmett – well, at his ringing phone, because he still had not answered. Bella began to sob quietly in my arms. How could I help her through the pain that I caused her and would never be able to erase?

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**8. Alone**

~ Mackenzie ~

I hadn't moved in two weeks. I lay on the floor of our – my – home, staring at the ceiling. The sunlight streaming through the cracked glass in the windows cast varying patterns across the room. I stared at the particles floating in the air, desperately attempting not to think about my situation. The harder I tried to clear my mind, the more I felt the pain of losing Brandon. The last two weeks had done nothing to alleviate the emptiness I felt. I cursed my perfect memory, and my ability to focus on _everything_ when I just wanted not to think about anything.

I wanted answers but all I had were questions. I wanted the release that sleep could bring. I wanted to forget. I needed to escape.

_I just want everything to go back to normal. _

The words I had said to Brandon swirled in my head. They rang as true as ever. I didn't know what normal was anymore. And I certainly did not know how to get back there. What would I do now that Brandon was gone? Swells of guilt flowed through me for destroying the blond vampire. I missed Brandon but couldn't find it in me to be angry with Emmett. It was my fault that he lost his mate... I was to blame for the pain he now suffered. I was disappointed in myself for never realizing that I could have been hunting animals rather than killing innocent humans. The tinge of remorse I had always felt was now exploding into more guilt. I was drowning in it. Yet, I wasn't sure that I would be able to adapt to that lifestyle.

I had not yet begun to decipher the meaning of all that had happened. I wasn't calm enough to begin planning my next move, but I knew I could no longer lay here watching the dust shimmer in the light.

I was alone.

That affected me more than I was willing to admit. I had never been truly alone before. Ever.

The painful emotions that coursed through my body made me question my resolve. I had been so sure at the time that I wanted this existence. Was this regret?

_I met Sophie when I moved into my freshman dorm at college. She had already moved in when I arrived at our room. The roommate gods must have smiled down upon me – I couldn't have asked for anyone better. My intense personality was a sharp contrast to her relaxed, easygoing style. We had the same grey blue eyes… hers blending with her long light brown hair, mine contrasting with my dark pomegranate red curls. My major was psychology. She was studying music – she had the most amazing voice. We became fast friends, close as sisters as the year progressed. It was no surprise then, as the school year came to an end that we decided to spend the summer together. _

_Since I lived in San Francisco and she came from Texas, we convinced our parents to let us travel through Italy for the summer. My parents agreed to let me go since I would be nineteen by then. I was certain they'd suggest that Sophie come home with me to San Francisco for the summer, and pleasantly surprised when they didn't. We were so excited to be traveling abroad, on our own, for the first time._

_Finals ended in late May and we left for Italy on the first day of June. We were starting in Tuscany and had decided to plan the rest of the trip once we were settled. While we were in the area, I had suggested we visit Volterra. Its medieval mansions and impressive history were sure to be interesting, but I was also drawn to the vampire legends of the city. Unfortunately, we weren't in Italy for the festival that was held yearly on Saint Marcus Day, but I wanted to at least visit the city and if we were lucky, perhaps go on a tour to hear the legends firsthand. _

"_Wasn't the vampire tour in New Orleans enough for you?" Sophie rolled her eyes._

"_Not even close… these are old world vampires, so much better!" I enthused, sticking my tongue out at her._

_Sophie never really understood my fascination with vampires. When we had traveled to visit her family in Texas for Thanksgiving, I had convinced her to take a trip to New Orleans so we could go on a vampire tour. The stories were intriguing as we walked through the streets of the city. As much as I enjoyed that experience, I knew Volterra would be even more amazing._

_It was June thirteenth when we visited Volterra. We parked the car outside the city walls and entered through the main entrance at the Porta all'Arco. We spent the day visiting the historic sites of the city and admiring the magnificent architecture. I was disappointed to hear that they didn't offer tours through the Palazzo dei Priori on Fridays. After watching a colorful sunset from the city walls, we decided to head back to our car._

_The night was beautiful. The sky was coming to life with stars as it darkened. It was quiet and peaceful… perfect. I took a deep breath, trying to memorize every detail. We reached the car and decided it was time for dinner. We were on our way to the restaurant when we passed what appeared to be a public park. I slowed down to take in the view of the trees lit in white lights that led to a gazebo in the distance._

"_Pull over," Sophie suggested excitedly._

_I parked along the entrance to the park. We walked along the tree-lined path talking about how incredible it was that we were there, how much we were going to enjoy the rest of the summer, and our hopes for the future. The path curved, leading us to a cherub fountain, where we stopped to make a wish. Our coins had just plunked into the water when I was startled by the most alluring voice behind us._

"_Wish for anything good?" he asked, with an accent I didn't recognize and immediately loved._

_We turned around to see the two most gorgeous men in the world staring at us. _

"_Our apologies," he spoke again when we didn't respond. "We didn't mean to frighten you."_

_I wasn't scared… I was in awe. He had long, dark hair that was pulled back at the nape of his neck, with dark, almost black, eyes. His features seemed more prominent against his pale skin. I couldn't stop staring. His thin lips curved into the most captivating smile. Sophie cleared her throat, attempting to bring me out of my daze, and introduced us._

_ "I am William and this is Spencer," his friend replied._

"_Hello," I breathed._

"_Would you mind some company?" Spencer asked me._

_I shook my head. We continued our walk along the path, towards the gazebo. William and Sophie were talking quietly as we walked. I couldn't think of anything to say. I didn't understand why I was so nervous. As we approached the benches under the lit canopy, I noticed two swings hanging from a nearby tree so I headed for them. I was thrilled when Spencer followed me. I sat on the homemade swing and began to sway slightly. He sat next to me and asked about our visit to Italy. We talked briefly about the things I wanted to see while we were here._

_He stood and moved behind me. I felt his hands grasp the rope on either side of me before he brought my swing back until I was pressed against his chest. I didn't recognize the fragrance but I decided that if I ever found it, I would purchase every available bottle. He smelled delicious._

_He leaned in and whispered, "So enticing..."_

_I felt his cool breath on my neck before his teeth pierced my skin. I gasped._

_I _knew_ they existed._

_That was the first thought to cross my mind. I couldn't believe that it was really happening. What were the odds that we would cross paths with a vampire in the park? I had to tell myself to get out of my head before it was too late. Prior to losing consciousness, I begged him not to kill me._

"_Please, let me be like you," I pleaded, the words barely crossing my lips._

I knew what I was seeking when I had asked Spencer not to kill me. I had welcomed it then. I wanted to be immortal – it was impossible for me to know exactly what I was asking for. What I wouldn't give, for the ability to erase my perfect memory… to make the events of the last couple of months, the last two weeks, disappear? Would I be able to forgive myself if the memory of what I had done never faded? How would I let Brandon go when I'd be able to remember him just as clearly in fifty years?

_I didn't realize Spencer had granted my request until I suddenly felt like I was on fire and flying. He carried me through the Italian countryside and placed me… I assumed, somewhere no one could hear me. I screamed and writhed in pain for days before it finally subsided and I felt my heart speed to its final beat. I opened my eyes to find that my senses were more acute – more intense – it was all just… _more_, including my tendency to overanalyze everything._

Even after six years, I hadn't fully adjusted to what my mind could do. As a human, I constantly tried to understand the world around me… it was one of the reasons I wanted to study psychology. Understanding why something happened helped me to feel in control, even when I wasn't. It was a blessing and a curse. Now that all my thoughts could come at once, it was sometimes more than I could endure.

_I don't know what happened to Spencer's allure after he changed me. When my transformation was complete, he reinforced what I already knew – I was a vampire. He instructed that my nature must remain hidden from humans. He introduced me to the concept of the Volturi, guardians of the vampire world who exist to ensure that we protect our secret. He went on to explain that they lived in Volterra, that hunting within the city walls was not permitted, and that I would be destroyed immediately if I did not to follow these rules._

_ I nodded. The burning in my throat was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. It was a distant reminder of the fire I felt I was engulfed in for the past few days._

_ "You must be thirsty, you should hunt," he said as he walked to the heavy, intricately carved door. "Remember the rules," he warned, with one final look back. _

_ This was thirst? What was I supposed to do now? It appeared that Spencer was leaving with no intention of returning._

_ "What…" I stumbled over my words, too many questions trying to come out at once._

_ He paused in the doorway. "It's instinctive from here. You'll know what to do. If you need something, you know my scent, so you'll be able to find me."_

_ I wondered if he meant to reassure me. I didn't feel any better._

_ "Sophie?" I asked before he could get too far._

_ "William didn't stop," he said indifferently. "She's gone."_

_ It made me realize that he could also have chosen to kill me._

_ "Thank you." It was the most inappropriately appropriate thing I could say. _

_He nodded and was gone._

In an instant, I was on my feet. The frustration I felt continued to rise – how could it never have dawned on me that I could drink the blood of animals? It seemed so logical now. I wondered if it would be difficult to adjust to the change. Could I really survive without hunting humans? I didn't know of any vampires, except the Cullens, that existed in that manner. I began pacing the room. Did it even matter? I was assuming I would have a future during which to consider this choice. I should have been wondering how Emmett hadn't found me yet to destroy me, but I had spent too much time worrying about being killed and decided that it didn't matter. I refused to spend the rest of my existence afflicted by fear.

Brandon was a constant image in my mind. I didn't want to think about him because it only served to remind me that I was alone and yet I couldn't seem to be close enough to him. Ignoring the pain and turmoil brought on by his memory would not be helpful. I had to convince myself of that. I needed to mourn. I was desperate to feel his presence. Time had erased his scent from the home we had briefly shared. He would only exist in my memories – and those were too real and yet not real enough.

I left my rudimentary house and made my way into the forest. It was too easy to find the spot where I had descended from the trees, in front of Brandon and Emmett fighting. I searched for the area where Brandon had been… gathered. The recently fallen snow hindered my efforts. Part of me was relieved. I wasn't sure how I would have reacted if I had been able to find it. I sank to my knees, unable to remain standing, as the dry sobs overwhelmed me.

_ … filled with doubt, down and out, and so alone; _

_a ship tossed and turned, lost and yearning for a home; _

_a survivor barely surviving…_

The music quietly began to fill my head. I didn't remember where I had heard the song before, but it seemed particularly appropriate.

_ … all of this I would have been if there hadn't been you; _

_if there hadn't been you, where would I be; _

_if there hadn't been you here for me; _

_I made it through times I never would have made it through;_

_if there hadn't been you…_

I never imagined I would lose Brandon. I had always assumed that if something happened to one of us, it would happen to us both. We had been inseparable from the moment we met, leaving the other's side only to hunt. I had connected with Brandon in every way – we were different, but we balanced each other nicely.

The song continued like a soundtrack to my thoughts.

… _a heart filled with love, more than enough to keep it strong;_

_ a life that's alive again no longer afraid to face the truth;_

_ all of this I would have missed if there hadn't been you..._

Initially, I was excited about the concept of being a vampire. It wasn't until I met Brandon that I was thrilled to actually be one.

_ I had been a vampire for just over a year when Spencer approached me. I had rarely seen him since the day he explained the rules to me. He had been right, my instinct took over, and I didn't really need him. I had liked knowing that I could find him if I ever did. I was confused by his presence before me._

_ "I haven't done anything wrong," I started._

_ "Relax, I know," he laughed. _

_ I still found it interesting that I was so unimpressed with him, considering how captivated by him I was when we first met. I had experienced it myself, how alluring I could be to humans, all in an attempt to lure them as my prey. I couldn't believe that I had been so easily misled._

_ "I've come to present you with an offer," he began._

_ "What type of offer?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at him._

_ "As I explained to you before, the Volturi exist to protect us from discovery. In the event that a vampire disobeys the rules and behaves in a manner that leads to, or would result in exposure, the Volturi will destroy them in order to protect our secret. When that occurs, there are witnesses that are charged with sharing the details of what transpired. Hearing these stories reinforces to all vampires the fact that we must all act to hide what we are."_

_ He stopped as if to assess my reaction._

_ "Continue…" I hesitated, wondering what his offer would be."_

"_The Volturi take their role very seriously, but as you can imagine the decision to destroy a vampire is not made lightly. They rely heavily on their witnesses to help all of us realize how crucial it is that we protect ourselves from being discovered. Relaying these messages saves our kind from destruction."_

"_Are you here to ask me to destroy someone or to tell me about someone who did something they shouldn't have? You don't need to worry, I completely understand the rules you told me about."_

"_I'm here to offer you a position as a witness for the Volturi."_

_I always seem to miss the obvious. _

_Spencer made the opportunity seem so honorable. Helping the others was a worthwhile cause. Being part of the Volturi was sure to have its privileges. It would be nice to belong with a group. And… I was bored on my own. _

_I accepted his offer and soon found myself living in Volterra. I was reminded again that it was unacceptable to hunt within the city walls. How ironic that the people here celebrated how Saint Marcus had driven all the vampires from Volterra and yet this was the epicenter of our kind._

_After several days of being confined within the city walls and being restricted by my human façade, I needed to escape for some running. I had made it to a secluded area of trees, far from anyone, and was testing my limits. It was childish, but I was having fun jumping into the trees and flying through the air as I swung from the branches. I was so caught up in my juvenile moment I almost didn't hear the laughter below me. I knew he wasn't human – no mortal could sound so perfect. I dropped to the ground and was embarrassed that he had found me playing. Before I could think of something to say, he spoke._

"_If you find a more pliable branch, you can actually use it like a slingshot and launch yourself into the air."_

_I didn't know who he was so I wasn't sure what to say. He came forward to introduce himself and from the moment our hands touched, I knew I wanted to be around him. He made me feel so at peace and so comfortable with myself – and I hadn't felt that way since… since I had lost my best friend._

I desperately wish for the release that tears would bring me as the sobs took over my body again. He had been carefree, sweet, silly, protective, rash, frustrating, passionate… and it wasn't long before I had fallen in love with him. I didn't know what I was supposed to do without him.

_ …if there hadn't been you, where would I be;_

_ if there hadn't been you here for me;_

_ I made it through times I never would have made it through;_

_ if there hadn't been you on my side, you in my life;_

_ all my dreams would still be dreams;_

_ if there hadn't been you…_

The scent unexpectedly assaulted my senses. It had been a very long time since I had gone two weeks without hunting. Instantly the burning in my throat was all I could focus on, and yet I wasn't exactly drawn to the source. This was unusual as hunting was normally very instinctual, yet I didn't feel the gravitational pull towards my potential prey. My body ached to travel into the city to satisfy my thirst. My mind fought against that choice knowing there was an alternative option. How were they able to do this? I could resist one human in favor of another. Would I be able to resist all of them?

I had to try. I closed my eyes and let my senses and primitive instincts take control. I wanted blood and I could detect it not far from where I was. I stood and allowed the scent to draw me closer. I moved silently through the forest until I saw the jet black bear. I focused on how thirsty I was, the relief that would come from feeding, the smell of blood in the air, the heavy pulse beating at its neck, and prepared to attack. I launched myself at the bear, knocking it over as I slammed into it. I sank my teeth into its neck knowing the flow of blood would be fastest there. It wasn't long before I had drained it completely.

It wasn't the most fulfilling experience; it wasn't remotely comparable to my usual hunt, but the twinge of guilt that I didn't feel was enough to convince me to fully attempt this change. I wasn't sure how difficult it would be, but I was determined to try. My thirst was less intense but I still needed to hunt. I walked through the forest on the blanket of snow that covered the ground. I tried focusing on my thirst to prevent my mind from wandering. The scents of the animals I came across were unappealing, at best. What was I supposed to hunt? I was sure someone would notice if all the bears suddenly disappeared.

The image of Emmett crouching into an attack position crept into my mind. We had been so certain that he was there because of us I hadn't noticed anything else. I realized it then that I no longer detected Emmett's scent… he must have left the area. I hoped his absence meant that I was safe, at least for the moment. I cringed at the knowledge that I had inflicted the same pain on him as I was feeling. The image of Emmett standing before me, staring at me with hard golden eyes, still as a statue, shifted into focus. My guilt overwhelmed me again. I longed for an off switch.

I forced myself to refocus on my thirst. It wasn't as overpowering as before, so it didn't consume me so completely. I rationalized that it would be easier to resist my usual hunting habits if I ensured that I hunted often. I couldn't allow myself to become thirsty. As I delved further into my memory of Emmett preparing to attack, I recognized the scent was the same as the one that surrounded me… deer. That's what he was hunting? They smelled horrid.

Not prepared to alleviate my thirst in that manner, I sought to distract myself. I lifted myself into a nearby tree and settled on solid branch halfway up. I had nowhere to go. I had no one to go with. I had nothing to do. I dropped my head into my arms, resting it on my knees. And what I did have, I didn't want – my memories, my guilt, my pain, my loss. Eternity had never felt so long.

Brandon would have been so disappointed if he heard what I was thinking. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I leapt to my feet and glided to the end of the branch. I pushed down on the branch slightly, being careful not to break it, until it arched as low as it would go without snapping. I let go and was immediately catapulted into the air. I was finally able to feel Brandon with me again.

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**9. Questions**

~ Edward ~

Carlisle rose silently from the leather chair behind his mahogany desk and crossed the room, pacing in front of the lit fireplace.

_I don't know what to make of this._

No one did. It had been weeks since Alice's vision brought despair and chaos into our world. We had a never-ending supply of questions and no answers apart from our own speculations.

_Perhaps we don't have the complete story._

His thoughts were hopeful. As if more information could change what Alice had already seen happen.

"If we could understand the attack, why it happened, it may help us understand," I replied.

_You said you recognize them?_

"Yes, as did Bella. They were there in the clearing, as Volturi witnesses. When Alice and I described them to her, Bella said they were the last two to leave after Garrett addressed them."

_If they turned away from the Volturi, they must have agreed that Aro was grasping at straws._

"Garrett's speech must have affected them."

_They why attack us if they believed us to be innocent of any wrongdoing?_

"Based on Alice's visions, I do not believe the attack was planned," I countered.

_How do you mean?_

"She had two distinct visions. If they meant to attack, the consequence of both would have been determined at that time. In addition, the attacks happened almost immediately after the decisions were made. It is almost as if they happened upon Emmett and Rosalie," I explained again.

Carlisle stopped pacing and turned to face me.

_You don't believe this attack was directed by Aro or any of the others._

"No," I shook my head, "it just does not fit. Emmett and Rosalie fought two separate battles. The first vision only showed Emmett destroying the male vampire. Rosalie's fate was not revealed until minutes later, and it was the result of a separate decision."

_Where would Emmett be?_

I ran my fingers through my already disheveled hair. We had examined this situation from every angle. We discussed this topic daily, and yet we were no closer to understanding. Where was Emmett? This was the question we most hoped to answer. We could not imagine where he would be or why Alice could not see him.

"I would have assumed that he would come home," I told Carlisle.

_Alice's visions have only not worked when affected by half-breeds._

"Perhaps he has not decided to do anything," I suggested.

_It's been over three weeks – how can he not have made a decision in all this time?_

Carlisle was becoming increasingly frustrated. He began pacing again. Even after centuries of this existence, his ability to react as human came naturally. His thoughts were anxious, and I was glad that he still preferred to communicate with me in this manner. His attempts at reassuring Esme would be futile if she heard how distraught he was.

"He and I are different on many levels, so I do not presume that we would react similarly to loss. When I forced myself to leave Bella, I wandered for weeks with no direction and no consciousness of where I was going. That was before I curled up into a ball and let misery have me. Tracking Victoria was the first decision I made."

_You know his mind better than any of us. Can you see him reacting in that manner?_

"It is hard to say. He has never experienced loss like this. I do not have a point of comparison."

_Having him come home would be an immense comfort to Esme. I do not believe that she has even begun the grieving process._

I could not reply to his comments regarding Esme. The angry tenor of her thoughts made me disagree with Carlisle. I thought she was well into the grieving process. I could not comment on this, however, since she was down the hall, within hearing range of our conversation. Instead, I focused the conversation on Emmett.

"We could search for him," I suggested, as I stood from my seat on the corner of his desk.

_We do not know where to even begin looking. We do not understand the situation completely and it may be more dangerous if we separate._

"Jasper and I... we talked about it briefly and between the two of us we could locate Emmett and be able to defend ourselves should anything happen," I tried to convince him.

_I am not sure about this. Perhaps we should discuss this together and…_

"I already told you that it would not be a good idea for you and Jasper to leave here looking for Emmett," Alice burst into the office.

"Alice, you have seen something?" Carlisle spoke for the first time.

"No," she glared at me, "but I don't see them finding Emmett. And I'm not willing to let Jasper go off into the unknown."

"Where is Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"He left to hunt again," I told him. "The emotions in the house are still severely impacting him."

"We should meet to discuss this together," he suggested again.

"It won't matter," Alice argued. "No one is going anywhere. There has to be a reason why I can't see Emmett. It's too big of a risk for any of us to take. We've already lost Rosalie."

"Alice," I started.

"I will not chance losing Jasper," she stated in a hard, even tone.

_She's right._

"Or you," Alice added, looking at me, "and I bet Bella would agree with me."

I nodded reluctantly.

"We should be doing something," I countered. "I hate feeling like there is nothing I can do."

_You can be there for your wife who needs you. Or do you believe that leaving right now would help ease her pain?_

Alice was never one to mince words. With all that had happened, Bella and I had not spent much time alone. Perhaps we could remedy that tonight by taking a trip to our meadow.

Once she established that my plan of searching for Emmett had been set aside, she turned to leave.

"I'm going to find Jasper. I need to hunt. I'm visiting Charlie later – I have his tux for the wedding."

"How can you still think about planning… well, interfering… with his wedding?" I questioned.

"Edward," she sneered, "we are _all_ hurting, but I can't be ruled by that right now. Jasper needs me. Esme needs all of us. Bella needs you, and I'm doing everything I possibly can to support her. Charlie and Sue are getting married, that hasn't changed, and I'm doing what I can to help them too. That doesn't mean I don't miss Rosalie. It doesn't change the pain I feel for Emmett."

"Alice, I'm sure Edward did not mean to suggest…"

"Of course not," she interrupted Carlisle. "Apparently if we're not volunteering to join a search party we must not be grieving sufficiently."

She stormed out of the office, slamming the door with a force that rattled the frame. It was truly not my intent to imply that the situation was affecting her less than anyone else. I needed to apologize to her. As I moved for the door, I heard Bella approach Alice in the hallway.

"When you visit Charlie, would you mind taking Renesmee with you? I know she knows that something is going on but I haven't figured out exactly how to tell her."

"I'd be glad to," Alice happily agreed. "She can distract Charlie while I fit him for his tux."

"Thank you."

"I know it's not my place to say, but I think you really should tell Renesmee."

"I know," Bella sighed. "But how do I explain this to her when we don't even know what's going on?"

"I'm not sure, but I know you'll figure out what to say to her," Alice reassured her.

"Death is hard enough to explain to children. How am I to explain that Rosalie, who was immortal, is no longer with us? I don't want to scare her. I don't want her to think that this could happen to me or Edward."

"I'm sorry that I'm not better at this. I wish I could help you more."

"Oh, Alice, you've done so much for me. I feel so lucky to have you as my sister. I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you've done."

"I'm not going anywhere Bella, but thank you. I'll remind you how grateful you are the next time you're refusing a makeover," Alice teased.

Bella groaned. I imagined her smiling slightly and rolling her eyes at Alice.

"I love you too," Alice said before she sped down the stairs.

_As I said, your wife needs you. You can apologize to me later. Maybe I'll forgive you._

I turned back into the room. I had not fully considered this situation from Renesmee's point of view. I was not aware of all Bella's concerns in discussing it with her. We had agreed that we would tell her together once we were aware of more details. I had assumed we were just waiting on further information. I had been attempting to determine what had transpired in New York, trying to ascertain if we were in any danger, and wanting to search for Emmett. I had not considered that Renesmee could react to Rosalie's death by fearing for Bella's or mine.

I heard Bella walk back to Rosalie and Emmett's room and seat herself in the hallway against the door. Esme had locked herself in their room the day that Alice's vision had relayed the terrible news. Bella had taken to sitting outside the door. It was her way of being there for Esme.

Carlisle had settled into an armchair in the corner of the room opposite the windows. He had a book with him, as usual, but this time it only served as a prop. His thoughts were focused on Esme. He was worried that it had been too long since she hunted.

I leaned against the door, my head in my hands, feeling defeated. I felt badly for what I had said to Alice. It bothered me that Bella was struggling with how to tell Renesmee, and yet she had not spoken to me about it. Why had she not sought my help? I did not know how to answer Carlisle's questions. He was the one that I went to for advice. He had provided us with guidance for so long that it was odd to see him at a loss. Esme was hurting, and I did not know what to do to comfort her. Jasper was hardly at the house anymore, the emotional turmoil…

Jacob's thoughts invaded my mind.

_If you're talking about anything you don't want Nessie to hear, you should stop now. We're almost at the house. She knows that something is up, by the way. You don't have her fooled as much as you may think._

"Renesmee and Jacob are on their way back," I informed Carlisle before I turned to leave.

I closed the office door and was surprised to see that Bella was waiting for me at the top of the stairs. I took her hand as we descended and led her into the living room. I wrapped my arms around her and pressed her tightly to my chest, kissing the top of her head.

She tilted her head and raised her lips to meet mine.

"Let me help you," I whispered to her.

She looked at me with wide eyes.

"How would you help me?" she asked.

"I do not know, love, but I want to. I know you are hurting – tell me how to make this better for you."

"I'm feeling so many emotions," she spoke slowly. "I just need time to sort them out."

I brushed the hair back from her face. "Tell me," I whispered gently.

"We're here," Jacob called from the back of the house.

"Later," Bella nodded.

_I told you we were close. Weren't you listening?_

Renesmee came running into the living room, and jumped into Bella's arms.

"How was your day with Jacob?" Bella asked her, trying to sound upbeat.

"It was so much fun!" Renesmee exclaimed. She placed her hand upon Bella's cheek to show her what they had done all day. She was thrilled about having been at the beach with Jacob.

"Hey Bells," Jacob called as he entered the room.

"Hi Jake," Bella greeted him. "Thank you."

"Sure, sure," he grumbled.

_I really need to talk to you. Can we go outside?_

I nodded at Jacob slightly. Bella noticed the silent conversation between us. Renesmee patted her hand against Bella's face to demand her attention again.

"Why don't we go tell Grandma Esme all about your day at the beach?" Bella suggested to Renesmee.

Renesmee nodded excitedly and wrapped her tiny hands behind Bella's neck.

"Jacob and I are going for a quick run. We'll be back soon," I said to Bella as I kissed Renesmee's forehead.

When I leaned in to kiss Bella's jaw, I whispered, "I love you. I promised to love you every day of forever. I will not break that promise."

Bella's breath hitched and she looked up at me through her lashes. There was something in her eyes I could not decipher. She smiled slightly as she reached up to kiss me before taking Renesmee upstairs.

As Jacob and I walked silently into the forest, I could hear Renesmee sharing her day with Esme, telling her about the different rocks and shells that she and Jacob had discovered. While Esme did not reply, I knew she was listening and briefly allowing herself a small reprieve from the anger that consumed her.

Once I could no longer hear Renesmee, I turned to Jacob.

"I want to thank you for all the time you have spent with Renesmee during these last few weeks. Things have been strained and I appreciate that you have entertained her and kept her sufficiently distracted. I heard her telling Esme how much she enjoyed being at the beach with you today."

"I love spending time with her," he replied, as if stating the obvious. "You don't need to thank me."

His thoughts echoed his sentiments.

"Nessie isn't as distracted as you seem to think," he continued. "You need to tell her.

"Bella and I are planning on having that conversation with her. We just are not sure how to say to her – how to explain – what happened."

"She knows something is going on – and she's starting to ask questions. I won't lie to her," Jacob adamantly replied.

His dedication to Renesmee still caught me by surprise at times.

"Of course," I acknowledged. "Alice is taking her to Charlie's this afternoon. That will give Bella and me an opportunity to talk. We should be able to tell her tonight."

"Good," he nodded. He was relieved that he would no longer need to keep something from Renesmee.

"Since you're talking to Nessie tonight, should I stick around? You know, in case she needs me?"

"It would be better if you came back tomorrow morning," I suggested.

"You _are_ going to tell her," he insisted.

I nodded.

"I'll be around if she needs me. Later," he called as he turned to disappear into the forest.

I decided to hunt before I returned to the house. I moved deeper into the forest, thinking about Bella as I ran. Jasper was finding it most difficult to be near her because of her overwhelming sense of loss. If her current feelings were just a shadow of what she felt when I left her… eternity did not provide me with ample time to atone for the pain I had caused her. It was unforgivable. Yet, she forgave me.

Nevertheless, she could not forget. The doubt lay there, dormant, beneath the surface, waiting for an opportunity to rise again. Alice was right – leaving Bella now would be the worst decision I could make. More than telling her, I needed to continue to show her that I would be here, with her. I had spent so much time protecting Bella; at times, it was still difficult for me to see how strong she was. I wondered why she had not spoken to me regarding her concerns with telling Renesmee.

Perhaps, I realized, it was because I had not discussed _my_ thoughts with her, as I had with Carlisle and Jasper, even Alice. Physically, I remained present, but it pained me to grasp that emotionally, I had left her again. We were both grieving, both enduring a multitude of feelings, and yet we were coping individually. In my misguided attempt to protect her, I was causing her pain. Again. I groaned, frustrated with myself.

Hunting could wait. I needed Bella.

I heard Bella speaking as I approached the house. In my haste to return to her, I almost did not listen, but her words penetrated my mind and startled me still.

"I know this doesn't compare, but when Edward left I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in the physical memories of him. I was so afraid that I would forget him and yet so terrified of the pain of remembering. Esme, I'm not here to convince you to leave their room. I understand your need to be close to them. I don't blame you for wanting to be in there. When I felt like his memory was slipping away from me, I tried to find him anywhere I could."

Bella's voice sounded so sad.

"I've never completely told anyone this, but I accidentally discovered one night that when I was in danger, I could hear Edward's voice more clearly. It's as if my subconscious had preserved it for just the right moment. Leaving the movie theater with Jessica, I actually approached a group of men standing outside a bar. They reminded me of the night in Port Angeles when Edward had rescued me. I began walking toward them, without even realizing what I was doing. Edward's voice came to me so clearly at that moment. He yelled at me to 'stop this right now!' I was so relieved to hear him that I didn't even mind that I had maybe gone crazy," she laughed quietly.

"I brought those two bikes to Jake because I knew that once I was riding one, I'd hear Edward again. Of course, once I got better at riding, he disappeared again. I came here one day, to the house. I needed to be somewhere I could feel him. The house was empty and so cold. He wasn't here. It's as if he - as if all of you – had never been. I thought that if I could find our meadow… I was sure I'd be able to feel him there. It wasn't the same," Bella's voice broke.

"If it hadn't been for Laurent showing up, I wouldn't have heard Edward there at all. Not long after, I remember hearing him plead with me not to jump off that cliff. But, Esme, I had to. He wouldn't stay with me any other way."

Bella's voice trailed off. I was stunned by what I heard. She had given me a very general outline of this story when we returned from Italy. I never imagined the details would be this tragic. I knew that I should not be listening to her conversation with Esme, and yet I stood immobile as Bella continued to speak.

"He didn't just leave. He took all of you away from me too. Esme, I appreciate so much that you've always treated me like a part of your family, like a daughter. Let me be here for you now. I know I can't change what happened, and I can't make you feel better, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I'm here for you – we all are – and if there is anything that I can do for you, I want you to ask. Anything at all...," Bella paused, as if considering her next words.

"It's been weeks since you've feed. I know that being so thirsty has to be difficult. The burn must be intolerable at this point. If you'd like me to clear the house so you can hunt without an audience, just let me know. Or, I could go with you, if you prefer," Bella offered.

Esme's thoughts focused on the burning sensation in her throat. She was thirsty, and Bella's words further ignited the fire. She contemplated Bella's offer and was relieved to know that the opportunity to hunt alone was there if she wanted it. After everything I had heard, I thought that Bella and I might need more than just tonight to ourselves. After we spoke with Renesmee, perhaps we could go somewhere…

"Alice came back for Charlie when she thought I'd died jumping off the cliff. They talked the next morning, while I pretended to sleep. I remember Charlie telling her that I hadn't reacted like someone left me, but as if someone had died. It _was_ like someone had died – like I had died. Because I lost more than just Edward, which would have been more than enough to kill me, it was also that I had lost a future with a whole family that I'd chosen."

"You have been there for me as a mother – in so many ways that my own was not. I feel like you're the only one who can truly understand what I'm feeling. I would die before I let Renesmee feel that kind of pain or fear. I could really use your help and advice right now… I don't know how to explain any of this to Renesmee. How do I help my daughter through this?"

I could not listen any longer. I continued to move towards the house. Esme's thoughts were jumbled. She wanted to help Bella, but she was at a loss for words. Her anger would not allow her to think clearly. She was angry at Emmett for not coming home… at Rosalie for being so impulsive, and getting herself killed… at herself for letting them go to New York… at Alice for not seeing what was going to happen… at me for the pain I was causing Bella…

I sat down at the piano and began to play Esme's favorite song. I hoped it would soothe her somehow. I focused on the notes in an attempt to quiet the words in my head. As the music continued, I felt myself relax and realized that Esme had also calmed. Her thoughts were now focused on feeding. Bella's description had been more impactful than all of Carlisle's pleading.

I transitioned to Bella's lullaby when I heard her descending the stairs. She joined me at the piano, leaning her head against my shoulder as I played. I had completed her song and was midway through Renesmee's, when I finally spoke.

"I'd like to take you to our meadow, love," I whispered to Bella.

She nodded against my shoulder.

Minutes later, we were lying on our backs, watching the clouds ebb over the trees. Fog, low and wispy, reached like fingers, stretching out to envelop the top branches. The sun was beginning its descent, painting the sky in a purple haze. I held Bella's hand in mine, and turned on my side to face her.

"Bella, I am so sorry, for everything," I started. "I know that does not nearly begin to make up for all the pain that I have caused you. I will never be able to do that. You are so strong, and I realize that I forget that, and so I would like to apologize for that as well. I have reacted as I did in the past, excluding you in a misguided attempt at protecting you, without even realizing it. You are everything to me. I cannot believe I was ever foolish enough to think that I could ever live without you."

I stopped when Bella sat up and faced me. She brought both my hands into hers, and placed them on her lap. She alternated between staring down at our intertwined hands and looking up at me. She began rotating my wedding band, still not speaking.

"I know that you are scared," I continued. "Rosalie… died suddenly, but I do not want that to cause you to be afraid of losing me again. That will _never_ happen."

Bella took a deep, unnecessary breath. "You heard my conversation with Esme."

It was not a question.

I nodded hesitantly. "It was not on purpose. I am so sorry. I never meant…"

"You weren't supposed to hear that," she interrupted. "I would never want to hurt you like that."

Hurt _me_? Was she serious? After all the pain I had caused her? My confusion must have been clear in my expression because she continued before I had a chance to reply.

"It's not that I'm afraid of you dying like Rosalie. That's what I'm afraid Renesmee will think. It's just that I can understand what Emmett is feeling. You have all been thinking about what happened from a strategic point of view… Why did this happen? What does it all mean? Except for Esme – she's hurting because she lost a child."

"I can only seem to look at things from Emmett's perspective. Knowing what he must be feeling is causing me to relive what I went through when you left. Except that you're here," Bella finally looked up at me, "and so it's been hard for me to feel these emotions and not share them with you, because I don't want you to feel guilty and I don't want you to hurt."

"I deserve to hear it."

Bella reached up and placed her hands on either side of my face, until my eyes met hers. "No, you don't. This is what I mean. I don't want you beating yourself up again over this. I have forgiven you, Edward. You need to do the same."

"How can you forgive the unforgivable?" I asked her.

"If I've forgiven you, then by definition it's not unforgivable, now is it?" she smiled at me.

"I'll never deserve you," I breathed before she reached up to kiss me.

When our lips eventually parted, she nestled herself on my lap, leaning her back against my chest.

"What was it that Jacob wanted to talk to you about?" she asked.

I wrapped my arms around her. "Not very subtle," I teased. "I think we should continue talking about us. You have been very quiet."

"We will," she reassured me, "later tonight. We need to talk about Renesmee first."

"Renesmee is what Jacob wanted to talk to me about. He says that she has been starting to ask questions, and he wanted to let us know that we should tell her because he was not going to lie to her."

"I want to be sure that we explain things to Renesmee just right so that she does not fear losing either one of us," Bella sighed. "Although I don't know what we could say to her that would make this any easier to accept."

"We should be honest with her, but I do think we should share as few details with her as possible," I suggested. "We could tell her that Rosalie had an accident and that she will not be coming back to us from New York."

"I still can't believe this has happened," Bella sighed.

"We could let her know that Emmett is still in New York because he misses Rosalie, and that he will be coming home to us soon."

"We don't know that," Bella disagreed. "And I don't want to lie to her. It's one thing to have kept this from her until we figured out what happened. We don't know where Emmett is or when he'll be back."

"Should we apologize to her for not telling her sooner?" I asked.

Bella nodded against my chest, "And we should explain why we didn't tell her. I don't want her to be upset with us or with Jake, when she finds out he knew too."

"What do we say if she starts asking questions? You know she is likely to do that. She resembles her mother in that way," I smiled against the top of her head.

"I don't know. I wish we had more details, for us and for her."

_Maybe I could help with that…_

_**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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